


Handcuffs, Feathers, Rings, and Tattoos

by inawaragainstreality



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crushes, F/M, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Slow Burn, Soulmate Tattoos, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Tattoos, Underage Drinking, i guess, i'm bad a tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-09-28 21:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inawaragainstreality/pseuds/inawaragainstreality
Summary: Richie's always believed in soulmates and he knows that Eddie Kaspbrak is his soulmate. So much so, he's not showing Eddie his soulmate tattoo until Eddie has his. He wants them to be the first people to see each other's.But then Richie gets into an accident and loses his memory. His family moves away shortly after. Eddie and the rest of the Losers struggle to deal with their lives without Richie as well as what their new tattoos can mean.Eddie's almost ready to get over his first love (well second) and start his college life when he runs into the last person he would ever want to see.





	1. Richie's Tattoo

_The Night of Richie’s 13th Birthday _

Everyone knows that at midnight on your thirteenth birthday you get a tattoo. It really doesn’t look special. It’s a simple black tattoo. It’s a simple black tattoo that can change everything though. It’s a soulmate tattoo. On your soulmate’s birthday, they wake up with the exact same tattoo. Maybe that’s magical.

The most magical part though? When you make eye contact with your soulmate for the first time after you both have your tattoo it changes color. Sometimes the tattoo is unique, meaningful. Other times it’s just a regular tattoo. But the color, that’s always unique and that’s how you know.

And on the night of his thirteenth birthday, Richie couldn’t stop thinking about the tattoos. His friends had wanted to throw a party, but he refused. They’d pestered him repeatedly, but he knew how he wanted it to go the first time they saw the tattoo. Well, the first time Eddie saw his tattoo.

He’d always believed in soulmates, despite his parents not marrying theirs. Hell, his mom had never even seen hers until four years after they were married. They didn’t care what some ink said, they loved each other. And that was fine for them.

Riche knew though, he knew who his soulmate was. He knew from the first time he met him. He’d met Eddie in kindergarten. The kid had tripped and scrapped his knee. When Richie told him that he’d kiss it to make him better, Eddie nearly gagged.

He smiled, remembering the day. Every time he thought of it, he was reminded why he had to wait to show the Losers his tattoo. He wanted the first person to see it to be Eddie and he was going to be the first one to see his.

He laid watching the clock. _11:48. 11:49. 11:50. _What was the tattoo going to be? _11:51. 11:52. 11:53_. There were a million memories that it could represent. _11:54. 11:55. 11:56. _He half hoped it’d be something to embarrass Eddie, something that he’d blush about every time he saw it. _11:57. 11:58. 11:59_. But more than that, he wanted it to make Eddie happy when he saw it. _12:00. _

There was a warmth on his right arm. It started as a slight tingle, twisting down his upper arm from his shoulder to elbow. Just as it started to become painful, the burning stops. He stared at the ceiling, bracing himself to look.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before looking down. The tattoo was a chain link. Richie knew exactly what it was from. It looked exactly like the links from the handcuffs Bowers had used to cuff him and Eddie together a few years ago.

_December Three Years Earlier_

Eddie and Richie had just gotten out of the theater. They’d seen some awful horror movie about a clown. It was somewhat of a compromise. Richie hated clowns; Eddie hated horror movies. Richie was confident Eddie hadn’t seen a second of the movie. His eyes were tightly closed as he clenched the arm rest until his knuckles were white.

It was starting to snow, the fluffy flakes landing in Richie’s dark hair. He turned in time to see Eddie catching one on his tongue. They’d decided to walk to the coffee shop down the street for hot chocolates before going home. Well, they hadn’t decided, Eddie told Richie he wasn’t going to the movie if Richie didn’t buy him one after.

They were walking through the park when they heard a crunch in the snow behind them. They turned at the same time, seeing Patrick Hockstetter behind them. He had a sinister grin on his face that made Richie’s stomach drop. Richie and Eddie took off. Just as they passed a park bench Belch Huggins and Henry Bowers stepped out from behind a tree.

“Lovely to see you again Reginald and Henrietta,” Richie said in a horrible English accent. “But you will have to pardon us good sirs as we are off to have some tea.”

Richie grabbed Eddie’s wrist, pulling him as he ran towards the street. He barely made it two steps before Vic Criss’s fist connected with his face. He stumbled backwards, glasses flying a few feet away. He barely had time to process the punch when another one came. It wasn’t long before he fell, unconscious, to the ground.

\- - -

Richie blinked. He was cold. There was a layer of snow over him. With a groan, he pushed up on his elbows. He was going to have a million bruises in the morning. His glasses lay forgotten in the snow. They were too far away to reach. He tried to roll over to them but was stopped by a pull at his wrist.

He squinted, barley making out the handcuff attached to him. The chain was wrapped around the bench once and attached to the other end was Eddie. He silently cursed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. He had to get Eddie out of the snow before one of them got frost bite or something.

Richie crawled under the bench, trying to maneuver over Eddie. His knee collided with his side and Eddie flinched. “Sorry Eds. Just trying to untangle us.” Richie made another loop under around the bench until they were free. Well, almost free.

“Don’t call me that.”

“But Eddie my love, I was so worried about you. How could I live without you?” Richie proclaimed.

Eddie jerked the arm the handcuff was attached to, making Richie fall into the snow. “Keep it up and you won’t have to trashmouth.”

_The Night of Richie’s 13th Birthday_

Richie smiled as he traced the chain link pattern. He’d been 100% certain Eddie was his soul mate, but now. Now he was a million times more certain. He grabbed his phone sending Eddie a message. He slumped back against his pillows, knowing he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for the rest of the night.

_The Morning of Richie’s 13th Birthday. _

Eddie rolled over, looking at the clock. _Four in the morning? _He’d had a terrible night’s sleep. Richie had refused to let anyone stay over to see his tattoo. He’d even said he wasn’t showing it to anyone until he could see Eddie’s. _The idiot_.

So maybe it was based on a promise they made. _A promise you made when you were five. _Eddie looked at his iPod sitting on his nightstand. He knew Richie was probably still up or at least stayed up until midnight. That meant he’d have a text from him.

Richie used to write down his first thought of the day then bring it to school to tell Eddie. Then, when he got his phone last year, he gave Eddie his old iPod so he could message him the thought when he first woke up. Eddie was grateful Ben was his neighbor so he could use their WiFi.

Richie was always up before him. Every morning, it was the first thing he checked. He’d never admit it to anyone, but it was the best part of his day. Eddie sighed, grabbing the phone. He wasn’t going back to sleep tonight anyways.

**Trashmouth Tozier **(12:00am): _Morning Sunshine. _

**Trashmouth Tozier **(12:01am): _All I can tell you about the tattoo is…_

**Trashmouth Tozier **(12:04am): _I look sexy as hell. _

**Trashmouth Tozier **(12:10am): _I mean so sexy. _

**Trashmouth Tozier **(12:30am): _You won’t be able to keep your hands off me once you see it. _

Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. He could actually see Richie’s thought process as a new idea came to him. He shouldn’t text back. He really shouldn’t.


	2. Richie's 13th Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie went to school, excited to see Eddie after getting his soulmate tattoo. He thought Eddie would be excited to see him too, curious about the tattoo Richie won't show him for another seven months. But then Don Hagarty shows up. 
> 
> And, though he won't admit it, Stan is equally upset about Bill's upcoming date with Audra.

Richie couldn’t stop smiling at the ceiling. He was right. His tattoo had to mean that Eddie was his soul mate. School was going to be rough tomorrow. He was going to be tired and too busy thinking about his tattoo. It’s a good thing he had straight A’s or his teachers would probably give him detention for a month for not paying attention.

His phone vibrated next to him. Richie grabbed it as fast as he could. He smiled when he saw Eddie’s name. When Richie first gave him his old iPod, Eddie had said he wouldn’t respond to any text Richie sent him before seven. At first Richie was worried he was serious, but he was still receiving texts at all hours of the night.

**Richie** (12:30am): _You won’t be able to keep your hands off of me once you see it._

**Spagheddi K** (4:28):_ pretty sure you can kill someone without touching them_

**Spagheddi K **(4:30): _which means it’s probably a good thing for you that i wont see it for seven months._

**Richie** (4:31): _you CAN kill someone without touching them. _

**Richie** (4:31): _because my sexiness is going to kill you on spot_

Richie smiled at the eye roll emoji Eddie sent him. Eddie didn’t respond to his last text, so he assumed Eddie had fallen back asleep. He ran his hand over the tattoo until it was time to get ready for the day.

\- - - 

When he walked into the school, Richie knew his classmates were talking about him. He was one of the only people in their grade to have gotten their tattoo. It was likely they were trying to figure out what tattoo he had. Richie didn’t care though; he was used to people talking about him.

His face lit up when he saw Eddie walk through the door with Ben. Stan rolled his eyes. Richie stumbled his way across the hall, throwing his arm around Eddie’s shoulders.

“Too bad your tattoo didn’t cover up that ugly mug,” Eddie muttered, pushing Richie’s face away. “Did you forget to brush your teeth today?”

“Most people would say good morning.”

Eddie scoffed, shaking Richie’s arm off. “Are you really going through with this whole, no one can see my tattoo, thing?” Richie grinned. Eddie turned to look at Richie as he walked. “Your wardrobe is made mostly of those ugly short sleeve Hawaiian shirts!”

Before Richie could respond, Eddie walked into someone, making them drop their books. Richie’s laugh filled the hall and Eddie looked horrified. “Are you okay?” Don Hagarty asked at the same time Eddie said, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Don laughed. “Eddie, it’s fine.” Don was one of the few other kids in their grade to have a tattoo. Eddie smiled, blushing as he looked at Don. Richie felt a surge of jealousy. “Oh, hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Would we be able to…” Don trailed off, glancing at Richie.

It took Eddie a second. “Yes! Absolutely. Richie, I’ll talk to you in third period.” He shoved him away. “Happy Birthday by the way!” Eddie called after him.

Richie walked up to Stan’s locker, leaning against it with a huff. Stan didn’t say anything, just kept pulling out his books. Stan was the only loser Richie had actually told he liked Eddie. They all knew it, all of them except Eddie that is. But he was the only one Richie felt comfortable talking to about it.

“Stan.” Stan didn’t look at him. “Stanley.” Nothing. “Stttttannnnnniiiieeeeeellllll.”

“Richie, just ask him on a date.” Richie pouted, slumping. “Did you finish your pre-algebra homework? I couldn’t figure out the last problem.”

Richie opened his mouth to answer when Bill ran up to them, panting. Stan turned around, finally smiling.

“Happy B-birthday Richie! You know the n-new g-girl? The p-p-pretty one from England? Audra?” He said, gasping. “I r-ran into her. Literally. I s-saw this feather that I thought you would like S-stan. So I chased after it and kn-knocked her over.”

Stan’s smile faltered slightly. Richie wondered if Bill knew that Stan had a crush on him. As much as Stan pressured Richie about Eddie, he’d never say anything to Bill.

“How is that a good thing?”

“We started t-talking and I asked her out and she said yes.”

The bell rang before either of them could answer. Stan slammed his locker shut, pushing past Bill and Richie as he walked to class. Richie shrugged, following him. They both had pre-algebra first hour and Richie figured he’d help Stan with his homework before the teacher collected it.

He dropped down into his seat. Luckily, they teacher put them alphabetically, so they sat next to each other. It probably helped that Stan refused to acknowledge Richie, unlike everyone else in the class. Which meant he was less of distraction. He pulled out his homework, flipping it to the last page.

“Stan, just ask him on a date,” Richie echoed his words from earlier.

“Unlike Eddie, Bill’s not gay.” Stan didn’t look up from Richie’s paper. He nodded once before solving the last problem. “Besides, now he’s going to go out with Audra Phillips, who is beautiful and nice.”

“And so are you Stan.” He grabbed Stan’s paper passing it up the row. Stan glared at him. “Okay, handsome and mean. But that’s one hell of a combination too babe.”

Richie didn’t pay attention to the lecture. He kept thinking about Don. What could he want to talk to Eddie about? The two only had one class together. It’s not like they were close. Why did Eddie blush though? Don had just smiled at him.

He glanced at the teacher before pulling out his phone. His parents would kill him if they knew he used it in class. There were several happy birthday texts. Multiple texts from Bev demanding that he talk to her as soon as possible. He scrolled down to Eddie’s name.

**Richie** (8:13):_ Quarter movie night at the theater tonight. 6:30? Hot cocoa after? my treat_

**Spagheddi K. **(8:13): _STOP TEXTING ME DURING CLASS. _

**Spagheddi K. **(8:13): _but i can’t. I kinda have plans. _

Richie waited. Plans? They always went to the movies the weekend of his birthday. They’d talked about going a few days ago and Eddie wasn’t doing anything. He furrowed his brow, waiting for a response. Stan nudged him then pointed at his paper.

“Mr. Tozier?”

Richie’s head snapped up from Stan’s paper. “Negative 32?” Their teacher nodded, looking back at the board. “Thanks,” Richie murmured. He slid his phone into his pocket, trying to pay attention to the lecture instead of worrying about Eddie. It wasn’t easy. He pulled his phone out once the bell rang.

**Spagheddi K. **(8:17): _Don asked me to go with him_

**Spagheddi K.** (8:20): _please dont be mad_

**Spagheddi K.** (8:25): _Rich, can we go tomorrow? I’ll buy_

**Spagheddi K. **(8:29): _I know i’m an awful person but_

**Spagheddi K. **(8:31): _Can you answer me?!? _

**Spagheddi K. **(8:48): _Fine. Whatever. We’ll talk later. _

Richie felt someone shove him. He looked up to see Bev. She looked pissed. He slid his phone in his pocket and held his arms up as if to give her a hug.

“What the hell Tozier? I told you to text me!” Bev snapped while giving him a hug. “By the way, happy Birthday dumbass.”

Richie chuckled, dropping his arms. “Sorry, it’s been a weird day.”

“Yeah. Eddie is going on a date with Don. I mean, why didn’t you ask him out the minute you woke up? Or five months ago? And don’t tell me you don’t have a crush on him. Trust me, everyone but Eddie knows it.”

They walked to their next class and Bev dropped down in her seat. Richie felt his heart rate increase. Date? Did she just say date? Richie just assumed Don needed help with homework or something. Date? He gripped the edge of the table, breathing deeply.

“Date?” He finally croaked. “Why would he go on a date with him?”

“Probably because he’s oblivious and you flirt with everyone. Why wouldn’t he agree when Don asked?”

Richie blinked at her. Did Eddie really think that? Why was he panicking? Eddie was going to go on one date with the guy then decide he didn’t like him. They definitely wouldn’t still be dating by Eddie’s birthday.

“What’s the tattoo?” Bev finally asked as the bell rang. Richie didn’t answer, just pulled out his notes. “Might as well tell Eddie now. I’m assuming it means something to you both? Maybe he’ll cancel the date and fall in love with you.”

\- - -

Why wasn’t Richie texting him back. Eddie put the iPod into his backpack. He should have just asked Don if they could do something tomorrow. But it’s not like Richie and him always did something the night of his birthday. Just the weekend of his birthday.

Besides, it’s not his fault Richie didn’t ask. Eddie’s had a crush on him for months now. Probably longer. Eddie can’t even remember when it started. But he’s also been talking to Don since the beginning of the year.

So, when Don finally asked him out, he was so excited he hadn’t stopped to consider Richie. Why should he? Richie obviously only saw him as a friend. He might as well try and move on from his childhood crush. He grabbed the iPod out of his backpack before the bell rang.

**Trashmouth Tozier **(10:10): _Talk at lunch _

That was it? Talk at lunch! Eddie didn’t respond, shoving the iPod back into his backpack. He felt like he was getting whiplash from this day. He could make it to lunch. It would be hard, but he could do it.

\- - -

The bell before lunch finally rang. Eddie stomped up to Richie’s locker, slamming his hand against it. Richie turned in surprise. He smiled when he saw it was Eddie, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. What was his problem?

“Seriously? You don’t respond for two hours and all you say is talk at lunch?”

Richie sighed. “It’s been a long day Eds. It’s probably a good thing you’re going with Don to the movies, I’m going to go to bed early tonight.” Eddie just stared at him. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry. I just, I was looking forward to the movies. But I’m glad you agreed to go out with Don.”

Eddie felt like Richie was lying. But he didn’t have time to call him out on it. Mike ran up from behind, lifting Richie off his feet, yelling happy birthday. Ben wasn’t far behind. Eddie didn’t have to explain himself to Riche. He could go out with whoever he wanted. It’s not like Richie cared anyways.

So why did he look so upset? And why did Eddie feel like he should justify his decision? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why Don Hagarty is the same age will make sense later!


	3. Four Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill, Stan, Mike, and Ben's birthdays all bring their own arguments, anxiety, and confessions. Stan worries about Bill's reaction to his tattoo. Bev finally says what Ben's been meaning to. And Richie, well Richie is having a hard time coping with Don and Eddie's relationship.

_Bill’s Birthday_

“A month. He’s been dating him for a month, Stan,” Richie groaned.

They were in Stan’s kitchen, about to go to Bill’s. They were celebrating his birthday and Bill wanted everyone to be there when he got his tattoo. When Eddie first went out with Don, he thought it would pass. After a few days he expected Eddie to call of the whole thing.

But he didn’t.

Now, they’ve been dating for a month. And it’s been the worst month of Richie’s life. He sighed, laying his head down on the counter. Stan was his usual, unsupportive, supportive self. Sometimes he needed the dry humor and irrelevant comments to make him forget what he was angry about.

“Richie, why don’t you tell him how you feel? He’s not just going to wake up and decide you like him.” Stan walked toward the door with his bag.

“Why don’t we make a deal, I’ll tell Eddie, if you tell Bill.” Stan’s head whipped towards Richie, glaring daggers at him. “Is Audra going to be there tonight?”

“No, Bill said he just wanted the Losers there.”

And that was it. They walked to Bill’s without talking about anything important. It wasn’t snowing, but by the time they got there, the cold had reached their bones. Richie burst through the basement door, dropping his bag as he ran to the couch.

Eddie was sitting there with a blanket over his lap as he typed out a text. Richie scrambled under the blanket, curling into Eddie. He was shivering and just happy someone was already at Bill’s. He didn’t care who was on the couch when he ran up inside.

Eddie tried shoving him away. “Eds, stop, I’m cold,” Richie whined. He snuggled closer. “Just let me warm up.”

“That sounds like a you problem.” Richie lifted the blanket to pout at him. Then he put his hand against his cheek. “Stop! Why didn’t you wear mittens? Fine, whatever.”

Richie hummed softly. It was probably the quietest he’d be all night. Eventually he removed his head from the blanket. His legs were still thrown over Eddie when Bev sat down next to them. He leaned against her, feeling content.

Bill and Stan carried down bowls of popcorn as Mike picked out a movie. Ben was telling Bev about a new band that he thought she would enjoy. Eddie’s arms were resting on Richie’s legs as he suggested movies to Mike. Sometimes Richie wished that he could just stop time and live in these moments. When it was just the Losers existing together.

“So, Bill, are you nervous?” Richie asked.

Bill shrugged. “Not really, it’s j-just a t-tattoo, right?”

“What do you think it will be?” Ben asked.

Richie didn’t miss how Stan shifted, uncomfortable with the conversation. He sat on the floor in front of the couch, not looking up from the bowl of popcorn he was holding. Bill handed a bowl to Richie before sitting in the chair next to the couch.

“Who do you think it will match? Someone we know?” Bev leaned forward.

“I don’t know. D-does anyone know who they will match?”

“I do. Stan the man,” Richie said, “and our tattoo is a pair of glasses on a bird with a top hat.” The others laughed, but Stan was still looking at the popcorn bowl. Richie grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at him.

“What is wrong with you?” Stan snapped.

Everyone fell silent, eyes wide. “Don’t worry, tis but a lover’s quarrel. We shall preserve. Our love will preserve!” Richie announced in another horrible accent. Stan pretended to gag at Richie's attempt at an English accent. He jumped off the couch tackling Stan as he did. Stan shoved at him, trying not to laugh. “You okay?” Richie whispered, so quietly no one else could hear. Stan nodded. “See! You will all rue the day you mocked us. We may fight, but that just mean our love is filled with passion.”

They fell into a comfortable silence watching a movie Mike picked out. Richie wasn’t paying attention. He kept looking at Eddie, who was also, not paying attention to the movie. He was texting and smiling at his phone. Richie knew it was Don and it tugged at his heart.

\---

Eddie’s head was resting on Bev’s leg. He was drifting in and out of sleep. His legs were thrown casually over Richie’s. Richie was drawing shapes on his leg, clearly not paying attention to the movie. Stan wasn’t much better, looking at the clock on the wall every few seconds.

Bill was bouncing his leg with impatience. The longer the night went on, the faster it bounced. At eleven thirty he jumped out of his seat and started pacing. Eddie wished he knew what to say to help ease his nerves, but he couldn’t even imagine what Bill was thinking.

“If you have to pee so bad Bill, just go,” Richie said. Of course, he had something to say. Bill stopped for a second before he laughed a nervous laugh. Some of the tension left his shoulders.

“Think of it this way, Bill. The worse that can happen is Richie can be your soulmate.” Richie gasped in fake shock as he looked at Bev. “Oh, you know I love you. Anyone would be lucky to be stuck with you.”

“Does it hurt?” Bill said softly.

It was a rare moment of vulnerability from him. The others tended to think he was the strongest, not letting the others see his weaknesses and emotions. Eddie looked down. He always looked to Bill to get through things, and he couldn't handle it when he let his guard down. 

Richie doesn’t answer because Bill suddenly went still. His hand went to his back. The others watched in anticipation. He lowered his hand after a few minutes. He pulled his shirt off, turning so they could see his tattoo.

“C-can one of you take a p-picture?” Eddie snapped a picture quickly before passing his phone to Bill. “It’s a feather.” Bill grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on it. “I bet it’s b-because of Audra! Remember when I ran into her?”

Bill was beaming as he jumped to his feet. He handed Eddie his phone back. Eddie saw Stan’s face fall slightly; a fake smile plastered on his face. Eddie knew he would have felt the same way if Richie had been excited about his tattoo being someone else. Which he knew he’d have to face in a few months.

_Stan’s Birthday_

Stan couldn’t help but be nervous. It’d been two months since Bill’s birthday. As much as he ignored Richie complaining about Eddie and Don, he felt the same way about Audra. Her birthday was still four months away, so at least Stan could pretend she wasn’t Bill’s soulmate for a little bit longer.

He was sitting in front of the TV, trying to figure out why the movie wouldn’t play. The others were already here. Richie was sulking, as always, because Eddie was still dating Don. Eddie was painfully unaware of this as he argued with Mike about a television show theory. Bev and Ben were sharing a chair, listening to music.

Bill sat down next to him. He certainly wasn’t helping Stan get over him, being nice and helpful and his perfect self. Stan dropped the cables, huffing.

“Why won’t it work? I mean, it’s straightforward. I wish we were upstairs and not using this DVD player.”

Bill laughed, placing a hand on Stan’s knee. “You’re n-not going to get it if you get angry.” He managed to get the movie playing as soon as he tried. “See.” He beamed at Stan, whose heart started beating faster.

“Stan, what will you do if Richie’s your soulmate?” Eddie asked. Stan grimaced, rolling his eyes.

“Stanley. When will you stop resisting it? One day you will no longer be Stan the Man, but Stan my Man.”

Stan started to put the machine back when he felt a warmth start between his shoulders. He froze. The others must have realized what was happening because they fell quiet. Maybe if he didn’t look, he wouldn’t be disappointed. Just keep pretending.

He took a deep breath, knowing the others were waiting. They wouldn’t let him not look at it. Moment of truth. He unbuttoned his shirt, not turning away from the TV as he folded it in his lap. The silence was unbearable. Stan hoped someone would break the tension. Thank god for Richie.

“Holy shit,” was all he managed.

“No. That can’t be possible. Stan can’t be my soulmate,” Bill said. He didn’t stutter once. Stan felt like he’d been stabbed.

He whipped around to look at the losers. Their eyes were wide, waiting for Stan to say something. He turned slowly to Bill, the look of shock on his face broke Stan’s heart. Then there was warmth on his back in the same spot the tattoo had just appeared.

“Wow, it’s beautiful,” Bev breathed.

And it clicked. Bill’s words. The borderline disgust on his face. Stan stood, shirt in his hand, and ran up the stairs. He stumbled into his room, locking the door before sliding to the floor. He felt the world falling around him.

Stan buttoned up his shirt, trying to figure out how he could salvage this. A lot of people don’t date their soulmates. He could be like Richie’s parents. Would Bill even talk to him after this? It wasn’t Stan’s fault, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Bill’s face. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts.

“S-s-stan?”

“Go away Bill.”

“J-just l-let m-me explain, p-please.”

Stan sighed before standing to unlock the door. Without looking at Bill he walked to his bed and sat. He heard the door close and lock before the shuffling of Bill’s steps.

“I’m sorry.” Stan didn’t respond. “Stan, c-can you look at m-me?” He just looked down at his hands, not ready to face what Bill was about to say. Bill knelt in front of Stan. Bill took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m sorry. I said you couldn’t be my soulmate because you’re too good for me.

“I’m not saying that to make up for something. Stan, I wanted to ask you out, but figured you’d never say yes. You can ask Eddie or Mike if you don’t believe me. I only asked out Audra because I thought I should try to move on.

“I messed up. But can we try to figure this out?”

Stan choked out a strangled laugh. “Bill we’re thirteen, not thirty. Can you act like it?”

“No.” Bill grabbed Stan’s hands, looking him in the eyes. “I n-need t-to know. Can we t-try to figure this out?”

All Stan could do was nod. "Can I see it?" 

Bill smiled and pulled of his shirt. Stan hesitantly lifted his hand to trace the feather. It was a blue jay feather except the blue was the same color as Bill's eyes. Stan wanted to say something, but didn't want to ruin the moment. 

There was a banging on the door. “Stan! STAN!” Richie shouted. Of course he'd ruin the moment. “Can you answer the question we’re all dying to know? Does Big Bill live up to the nickname?” Stan’s eyes widened in horror. “Come to think of it, does Stan the Man live up to his?”

“Beep beep Richie,” came the chorus of voices from downstairs. Bill’s shoulders shook as he tried to suppress his laugh. Maybe it would be okay.

_Ben’s Birthday_

They were in Ben’s living room. Bill had talked to Audra after his birthday about what had happened with Stan. She’d actually admitted she felt they were more friends than anything and they had an amicable breakup. Stan and Bill had been figuring out their relationship since and it seemed to be going well.

Richie and Eddie, on the other hand, were driving Bev crazy. She knew Eddie would have said yes if Richie had just asked, but now he was falling for Don. That meant she had to deal with mopey Richie. She never thought a mopey Richie could be more annoying that his usual self.

“I mean, what does he even see in Don?” Richie whispered when Eddie went to the bathroom.

“You missed your chance. That’s on you Richie. Now you have to deal with it.”

He huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back. Bev was sitting cross legged in front of Ben. She couldn’t wait to see his tattoo. Honestly, she’d been waiting for him to ask her out, but it seemed like he never would. Then all at once the idea hit her.

“Ben can I talk to you for a second?” He looked surprised before nodding and following her to the kitchen. The others look at them, clearly eavesdropping. Bev flipped them off. “I know your about to get your tattoo and this might all change in June, but do you want to go on a date tomorrow?”

Ben’s face lit up. “Absolutely. And I don’t care what my tattoo is Bev, I’d still want to date you if yours is different.”

The others cheered, clearly waiting for one of them to say something. Bev rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the feeling of happiness. Ben’s smile was impossibly big as he gave her a hug. For a second Ben tensed and Bev pulled away, concerned. She saw the clock over Ben’s shoulder and realized why.

Ben let his arm fall, holding his hand out in front of him. She watched as a black line started winding its way around his left ring finger. It was a simple treble clef that looked like a ring. Bev fell in love with it instantly.

It was definitely the calmest, and possibly best, birthday party they’d had this year.

_ Mike’s Birthday_

“I don’t know why it concerns you,” Eddie snapped.

“Eddie you’ve always believed in soulmates, you’re going to throw that away for some dude you’ve been dating for a few months?” Richie yelled.

“First of all, it’s very possible Don and I will be soulmates. Second, if I want to continue dating someone who isn’t my soulmate, then I can. Third, screw you Tozier. This isn’t about you.”

“Whatever,” Richie mumbled as he pushed passed Eddie. He walked out the front door, pulling a package of cigarettes from his pocket.

Bev followed him out, knowing he was about to spiral. She took the cigarette he offered before pulling out her lighter. Neither of them said anything for a minute. Richie dropped to the porch steps, running his hand through his hair.

“It’s going to be okay Richie.”

“Really? Maybe you heard something different than I did.”

“So, he won’t break up with Don if they don’t have the same tattoo. Maybe they’ll just realize they aren’t right for each other. It’s not the end of the world Richie.”

He blew out a line of smoke, not answering. Bev sat down next to him, grabbing his free hand. She gave it a squeeze as he rested his head on her shoulder. She didn’t know what else to say, but she wanted Richie to know she was there for him.

“It’s almost midnight,” Ben said.

Richie and Bev walked back inside in silence. Eddie looked beyond pissed. Stan was leaning against Bill’s leg, scrolling through his phone. Mike and Bill were in the middle of a conversation. Bev sat next Ben in the armchair, forcing Richie to sit near Eddie, if he didn’t want to sit on the floor. He ended up sitting in front of the armchair.

Mike pulled off his shirt a minute after midnight. Richie jokingly whistled, but it sounded forced. Bev squeezed his shoulder. A layer of freckle like dots tattooed Mike’s shoulders. It was subtle and perfect for Mike.

“At least it’s not on your arm,” Stan said. “Can you imagine being Richie’s soulmate?”

“One day, I won’t be here and all of you will regret how you’ve treated me,” Richie said dramatically. He stood up placing the back of his hand against his foreheads. “Especially you, Stanley my love!”

Eddie flinched slightly at Richie’s words. They’d never heard him say that to anyone but Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically only Bill and Richie have the right birthdays.


	4. The Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Eddie's birthday approaching, he comes to a decision that breaks Richie's heart. Eddie may have broken his arm, but things are much worse for Richie once Eddie shares the news at Bev's birthday.

The Neibolt House

“Nope, nope, not a fucking chance,” Eddie said.

They were standing outside of the Neibolt House. Last time he was here, he was harassed for a blow job from someone sleeping under the porch. He can’t believe Bev even convinced him to get this far. Bill, Richie, and Bev were all standing on the porch, waiting for them.

“Come on Eds, nothing’s going to happen.”

“Even if there is no one in there right now, the amount of disease-”

“or lack of structural integrity,” Ben interrupted.

“or lack of structural integrity could kill us.” Eddie huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

Bev looked at Ben with a pleading look before he sighed. He walked up to the others, shrugging at Stan, Eddie, and Mike. Stan shook his head at Bill when he gestured for him to come forward. At least one person was being reasonable.

“Mike, I never thought you’d be afraid of an old house,” Richie taunted. Mike groaned before joining them on the porch. “Stanley, babe, come on. We stand out here too long we might get in trouble.”

Bill elbowed Richie in the stomach, laughing. Stan looked around, as if checking someone was about to yell at them. He glanced at Eddie before walking up to Bill. Bill wrapped an arm around his waist. Everyone looked at Eddie. He looked at Stan in disbelief.

“Eddie, are you really going to be the only that doesn’t go in?”

He was right. There was no way Eddie was going to stand out here alone. “Fine, but I don’t want to be anywhere near you Richie.”

Eddie stomped up the steps, past Richie, into the house. He knew Richie would try and mess with him the entire time. He did not need that. He stopped at the stairs, suddenly regretting his decision. The house was way creepier than he expected.

“Don’t worry Eds, I’ll protect you,” Richie said, throwing an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. He rolled his eyes but was actually glad someone was next to him. “Let’s go up.”

Richie dropped his arm, walking up the stairs. Eddie followed him, mostly because he didn’t want to be on his own. Ben wasn’t joking about the structure of the house. Eddie felt like he’d take on wrong step and fall through the floor. Whoever designed this house was probably on drugs.

“Bill, check this out!” Richie yelled.

Eddie hadn’t realized Bill was upstairs until he walked by him. Eddie and Bill followed Richie into another room. There were three doors on one side. In dripping red paint that looked like blood they read:_ not scary at all, scary, very scary. _Bill and Richie shared a look before walking up to the not scary at all door.

Eddie walked out of the room, trying to find something more interesting. He pushed open a door down the hall. In the middle of the room was a table with clown dolls sitting on it. Eddie walked forward, shaking the creepy feeling they gave him. He could really mess with Richie.

He ducked behind the table. “RICHIE!” Eddie screamed. There was silence before Richie and Bill burst through the door.

“EDDIE?” Richie said, stopping in his tracks. Eddie popped out from behind the table, laughing. “You’re a monster Eds.”

Eddie walked out from behind the table, not taking care to look at the ground as he did. Which was not one of his better decisions. He stepped on a weakened part of the floor and fell through. He landed on the table and felt the wind get knocked out of him. A searing pain went through his arm. He heard yelling.

Mike reached him first. He was going in and out of consciousness, so he couldn’t figure out what Mike was saying. The others stood around, not sure what to do. Richie was the only other one to walk up. His hand went to Eddie’s arm.

“Look at me Eddie,” Richie screamed, but it sounded like he was underwater. Eddie blinked, trying to focus. “Eds, look at me. Stay with me. I’m going to snap it back into place.”

Eddie didn’t have enough energy to fight it. “DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME,” was all he managed to screech. And everything went black.

\---

Eddie listened to his mom complain about his friends for the umpteenth time that day. He couldn’t wait for her to leave him along so he could message them. It seemed like hours before she walked out of the room. Eddie waited until he heard the front door close before taking out his phone. He had a million messages in their group chat.

**Trashmouth Tozier**: _How pissed is she?_

**Bill Denbrough: ** _Is your mom still mad? _

**Stanley Uris**: _What did you tell her? _

Eddie scrolled through them. They basically were the same thing over and over again.

**Bev Marsh: ** _Are you going to be able to come to my birthday? _

**Eddie: ** _I wouldn’t miss it for the world Bev. _

\---

Eddie sat across from Don at the restaurant. Yesterday he’d blown up at his mom for not letting him see his friends. It was the first time he’d ever stood up to her. He wasn’t going to miss Bev’s birthday and he’d already agreed to go out with Don.

“Are you okay?” Don said. “You don’t seem totally here.”

“Yeah, it’s Bev’s birthday later and I haven’t seen anyone this week.”

“Eddie, I have a question for you.” Eddie looked up from his plate. “What are you doing for your birthday? Are you going to have a party with everyone?”

Eddie hesitated. Originally, he was just going to have Richie over. But the two of them hadn’t talked about it in months. It wasn’t like they’d promised anything. Maybe it’d be better if it was just him and Don. He didn’t want to see Richie’s disappointment when their tattoos didn’t match.

“Probably not. Why don’t we just do something?” Eddie said. He reached forwarded grabbing Don’s hand.

\---

Richie and Bev were leaning against the side of the house smoking when Eddie walked up to Bev’s. Eddie crossed over to them. He looked nervous. Bev could tell he wanted to say something to Richie, so she put out her cigarette before going inside.

“What’s up Eds? Trouble in paradise?”

“Richie, I,” Eddie paused, not sure how to phrase it. He took a deep breath, “I’m spending my birthday with Don.” Richie’s eyebrow shot up. “When I get my tattoo.”

Richie froze. Eddie felt sick. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to tell Richie. After a second Richie nodded and put the cigarette out. There was nothing worse than a quiet Richie. He should say he’s joking. Anything to break the tension.

“I’m going to go for a walk.”

“Richie, wait.” Eddie turned, reaching out with his good hand.

Richie stepped out of his reach, not looking back. Eddie walked inside to see everyone staring at him. He knew they all heard, which didn’t make him feel better. He’d rather break his other arm than think about what had just happened.

Thankfully no one said anything. Eddie kept looking out the window, waiting for Riche to get back. He had to know this was a possibility, right? He’d been dating Don for half a year. The sun was starting to set, and no one had heard from Richie. It wouldn’t be much longer before Eddie started to spiral.

Then there was a screeching noise outside. The Losers all turned to the window. Eddie pushed the curtains back and saw a car stopped in the middle of the road. There was also someone lying in the middle of it. Before Eddie could even process that it was Richie, he was running out the door.

Mike was faster than him though. Just as Eddie made it to the street, someone wrenched him back. Eddie fought against Mike, but he knew it was no use. Richie lay in the street, not moving.

“Mike let me go,” Eddie sobbed. “Mike please.” Eddie collapsed, unable to fight anymore. “This is my fault. He was out here because of me.”

“Eddie, it’s not your fault,” Mike whispered. “I need you to calm down. It’s going to be okay. He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s…”

Mike’s voice faded out. This couldn’t be happening.

\---

No one was saying anything. They were waiting to see Richie. Or even an update on what was happening. After the accident they’d all gone home. Not one of them had gotten any sleep. They all met at the hospital the next morning.

Eddie rested his head on Bev’s shoulder. Mike was next to him on the couch and every once and a while he would give his hand a reassuring squeeze. Bev was reaching over the arm rest to hold Ben’s hand. Whenever Eddie made eye contact with Stan or Bill, they tried to give him a warm smile. But he could see the worry in their eyes.

Wentworth Tozier walked out of the room. “So, he’s awake and they said you would be able to go in and see him. You should know that when he woke up, he was very adamant that he didn’t want to see his tattoo. We don’t know why, but we don’t want him to get upset again, so if you could not talk about it.”

Eddie didn’t meet his eyes. He had a feeling he was the reason Richie had panicked. They went in pairs. Eddie let the others go first, trying to prepare himself. They’d said he’d lost his memory and maybe seeing them would help bring something back. After Stan and Bill came out, Mike and Eddie stood.

When they walked in, Richie lit up. For a second Eddie thought he might recognize them. “Are all my friends cute? I’m not going to be able to look in the mirror without feeling bad about myself.”

Eddie’s hope fell as Mike introduced himself. It was the most awkward fifteen minutes Eddie had ever spent with Richie. They said goodbye, none of his memories had come back. They visited him when possible, but he never recognized them.

After Richie was released from the hospital, his parents decided they were going to move closer to family. The Losers all noticed Richie’s lack of presence. Every morning Eddie woke up, the first thing he did was check his phone for a message from Richie. It never came.


	5. Loosing Richie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie's accident affects all the Losers in different ways. Some of them are having an easier time than others. But they're all making decisions that will affect their futures and their all figuring out how to live without the Richie they knew.

\- - Bill - -

Bill was sitting on the edge of his bed. Georgie kept asking him to go out and play, but Bill couldn’t bring himself to move. He’d watched the Tozier’s moving truck pull out earlier, followed shortly by the Toziers. He kept hoping Richie would suddenly turn back.

Of course, it was raining. They couldn’t even go outside to take their minds off what was going on. Georgie ran by in his yellow raincoat, laughing as he chased the paper boat Bill had made. He groaned, falling back onto his bed.

He felt like this world was a never-ending roller-coaster. Finally give up hope that Stan would like him. Ask out Audra. Deal with Richie’s moping ass. Find out Stan’s his soulmate. Break up with Audra. Deal with Richie moving away.

He kept replaying the last week in his head. He’d planned on officially asking Stan out after Bev’s birthday. Most days it just felt like he was spending time with his friend Stan. He also felt like it was because Stan didn’t trust him. Why couldn’t they get their tattoos when they were eighteen and could figure this out easier.

As annoying as he could be, Bill wished he could ask Richie what to do. He was never hesitant to show people how he felt, except every once and while with Eddie. He wasn’t reserved though, and Bill was never able to be that way.

There was a soft knock on his door that dragged him from his thoughts. It opened slowly and Stan leaned his head into the room. Then Georgie pushed the door open with a bang, running past Stan. He grabbed Stan’s hand pulling him along.

“Bill, Stan has to ask you something!” Georgie climbed on Bill’s bed, still pulling Stan.

“G-g-georgie,” Bill snapped.

Georgie stopped; his eyes wide. He let Stan’s hand fall. Stan looked like he was trying not to fall on Bill. He was standing on his toes as he leaned forward, barely balancing._ Was he holding his breath?_ Georgie dove at Stan, giving him a hug. The two of them toppled backwards onto the floor.

“Your boyfriend is the absolute best.”

“Georgie.” Bill pinched the bridge of his nose. “Get out of my room.”

Georgie didn’t seem fazed by Bill’s curtness. He laughed before standing and running out of the room. Stan sat up. He looked like he was trying to process what just happened. Bill smiled at his disheveled look. He wasn’t used to Stan looking so unpolished. It was adorable.

It would be a hard transition losing Richie, but at least he had Stan.

\- - Stan - -

Ever since his birthday, Stan was walking on eggshells. He always felt like he was going to say something wrong and Bill would close off. What if Bill decided that giving this a chance was a mistake after all. He couldn’t go through that again, so it was better not to push it. Or at least he thought it was.

He kept thinking about Richie. Mostly what ifs. What if he’d told Eddie how he felt? What if he hadn’t kept the whole tattoo thing a secret? What if he hadn’t waited? Screw it. Stan grabbed his phone and an umbrella. He checked with his mom before running to Bill’s house.

Georgie was stomping in a puddle when he got to the house. He lit up when he saw Stan walking down the sidewalk. He ran over, splashing water onto Stan’s shoes when he did. The paper boat he’d been playing with floated past them and into a drain.

“NOOOOOO,” Georgie screamed. “Bill’s gonna kill me!”

He knelt down, looking in the drain. Stan grabbed his arm, pulling him up. “Georgie, you’re mom is going to kill you if you come into the house covered in mud.”

“You gotta tell Bill, he can’t be mad at you.”

Once he agreed, Georgie calmed down. He also grabbed Stan’s arm pulling him inside. While Georgie dried off, Stan went up to Bill’s room. He took a deep breath, knowing he had to say something to Bill now or he’d chicken out.

He knocked softly, the door opening from the pressure. He leaned his head to check Bill was actually in there. Before either of them could speak, Georgie threw the door open. He grabbed Stan’s hand, dragging him to Bill.

“Bill, Stan has to ask you something!”

“G-g-georgie.”

Stan felt Georgie let go of his wrist. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, he was too busy staring at Bill. He blinked, trying not to fall. Georgie had pulled him so far, he had to stand on his toes not to land on Bill. Stan couldn’t breathe, he’d forgotten how beautiful Bill’s eyes were. Then Georgie tackled him.

“Your boyfriend is the absolute best.”

“Georgie, get out of my room.”

Georgie laughed and ran out of the room. Stan tried to process what had just happened. It’s probably a good thing Georgie had broken the tension in the room. Bill was looking down at him with a smile. Stan sat up, lifting his hand to run through his hair.

“Wait,” Bill said, dropping to the floor. He pulled Stan’s hand away. “I think you should w-wear your hair like th-that.” Stan rolled his eyes. Bill pushed Stan’s hair off his forehead. “Actually, your hair looks sexy pushed back.”

Stan batted Bill’s hand away, hoping he didn’t notice the flush Stan felt in his face. He knew it was a Mean Girls reference, but something felt genuine about the whole thing. Stan looked down at his hands, not sure how to start.

“Bill, we need to talk.”

“B-before you start. C-can I ask you s-something?” Stan looked up at Bill, not speaking. He took a deep breath. “Do you want to go on a date with me? Like an actual date?”

It took Stan a second to process, mainly because he never though Bill would ask him that. He couldn’t help it, he started laughing. When he finally stopped, Bill looked heart broken, he went to stand up. Stan grabbed his hand, pulling him back down.

“Bill of course I will.” Bills eyes widened. “Sorry about laughing. That’s, that’s just what I was going to ask. I’ve just been afraid to push you away.”

For the first time since Bev’s birthday, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

\- - Ben - -

Bev ran her hand over the ring tattoo on her hand, almost like she was twisting a real ring. Neither of them had really noticed the change in color. It definitely hadn’t been a priority. It faded from a charcoal color to a golden yellow. It was just like a smoldering ember. _January Embers._

Ben reached over, putting his hand on hers. She jumped slightly. Ben wished he knew what to say to make her feel better. It broke his heart to see her this upset. It’d been a hard time for all of them, but Bev and Eddie were taking it the hardest.

“I’m sorry.” Bev smiled. “I just feel like this is all a dream or nightmare. Like we’ll wake up tomorrow and Richie will be making a crude joke and calling me Molly Ringwald.”

“I think everyone feels that way.” Ben started pushing the food around on his plate. It was weird, he hadn’t felt like eating lately. He stood up grabbing the tray. He threw away the trash and looked back at Bev. “You coming, Molly?’

Bev smiled, shaking her head. She walked up to Ben grabbing his hand. He really couldn’t believe she was his soulmate. Not that that mattered. He cared about her long before getting their tattoos. It just happened the universe agreed with him. 

“Ben, do you ever think about what life would be like if soulmates didn’t exist?” It was like she was reading his mind.

“No.” Ben said firmly. “Because I’d still think you were the most amazing person. I don’t think anything would change if a tattoo never showed up, you know?”

Bev hummed, not speaking for a second. “Maybe Richie would have told Eddie how he felt, and he’d still be here.”

Ben stopped, sighing as he did. He pulled Bev’s hand, so she’d turn to look at him. For a second, she looked confused, but Ben could see she was upset about loosing Richie. Ben wrapped his arms around her.

“Bev, this could have happened in any world. Soulmates or not. I know it’s going to be hard, but you can’t keep reliving that day and thinking of different scenarios. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

\- - Bev - -

She couldn’t help it. Hearing Ben say that made it feel like there was a weight off her shoulders. The flood gates opened, and she tightened her arms. She kept her face buried, tears soaking Ben’s shirt. When it felt like she couldn’t cry anymore, she stepped back.

Ben’s arms dropped to hold hers. He ran one of them up and down before letting go completely. She quickly grabbed his hand before they started walking. The last few weeks might have been hard, but at least she had him.

“Do you want me to walk you home? Or have my mom drop you off?” Ben asks.

“No, I’m going to go check on Eddie.”

Bev had been texting Eddie nonstop. He hardly ever responded and when he did it was one-word texts. She sighed thinking about it. They were thirteen, they should be swimming in the quarry and seeing cheap movies, not dealing with all of this.

When they got to Ben’s, Mike’s bike was propped up against his deck. How long had he been at Eddie’s? Mrs. K must have been home when he got there. Bev groaned internally. She’d probably have to climb the lattice on the side of the house.

Ben must have sensed her annoyance. “She’s probably not going to leave again tonight.”

“I know, I know. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I’ll see you then.”

Bev gave Ben a quick hug before going to Eddie’s. She climbed the lattice on the side of the house. She swung onto the roof, walking up to Eddie’s window. Just as she got there, Mike was leaving. He didn’t say anything. He gave her a half-hearted smile before passing her to get his bike.

Bev climbed through the window. Her heart broke when she saw Eddie. He was curled up on his bed, just staring at his iPod. It wasn’t even on; he was just staring at the black screen. He looked up at her when she shut the window.

“You should just go home Bev.”

“Not a chance.”

She laid down next to him. He rolled over, facing away from her. If the only thing she could do was lay next to him, that’s what she was going to do. After a second though, Eddie reached over and grabbed her hand. He pulled her arm, so it was draped over him.

“Thank you.” Eddie’s voice was so soft Bev almost didn’t hear it.

She didn’t respond, just squeezed his hand. They’d get through it. Somehow.

\- - Mike - -

Ever since Richie’s accident, Mike had a lot of pent up energy. Maybe it was because he felt like he should be doing more to help everyone but didn’t know what. They hadn’t spent much time together as a group. They should though. That’s when they were at their best.

He didn’t even know he was tapping his foot until his mom put a hand gently on his knee. He looked up in surprise. Was he really that out of it? His dad set down his paper with a sigh.

“I know this last week has been hard Mike, but is there something you want to talk about?”

“I just don’t know what to do.” He set his head on the table.

“Why don’t you take the day off and go check on Eddie?” Mike’s mom suggested. She was looking at Will.

“I think that’s a great idea. Besides, Mark can cover on the farm today.” He turned to Mike. “Eddie just needs a friend now, let him know you’re there for him.”

Mike thanked his parents before going to his room. While he was excited about seeing Eddie, he knew he wouldn’t be in a visiting mood. His dad was right, he had to be there for everyone, no matter what. He raced to Eddie’s.

His mom’s car was parked in the driveway. He groaned. She was still upset about them being there when Eddie broke his arm, despite whatever Eddie had said to her. He checked with Ben’s mom that was okay before leaving his bike in their yard.

When he climbed through the window, he saw Eddie laying on the floor listening to music. Mike instantly recognized Richie’s favorite band. He half expected Eddie to tell him to leave, that he didn’t want him there. Eddie didn’t even move though.

“This is my fault.” His voice sounded rough, like he’d been crying. Mike barely heard what he said.

“No, no it’s not.” Mike sat next to Eddie, leaning against his bed. He knew Eddie was going to argue with him. “I’m serious Eddie. He knew you were dating Don. If he had a problem with this, he should have said something. You couldn’t control his actions.”

Eddie sat up. “I didn’t have to tell him! I’m the one that broke our promise! I caused him to leave and go for a walk.”

It was the first time since Richie’s accident Eddie had shown an emotion besides sadness. Mike knew he had to tread lightly. Eddie could shut down quickly. But this was good. He was processing it.

“A promise you made when you were what five? Eddie, obviously Richie cared about you. But he knew that you being with Don on your birthday was a possibility. It’s not your fault he couldn’t grow up for five minutes to process his emotions properly.”

“What do you know?” Eddie huffed.

Mike knew the implication. What did he know about love? About losing someone that close? Screw it. He didn’t have to take this. If Eddie shut down, let him. He’s the one that crossed a line. He didn’t deserve to be walked over because Eddie was upset. 

“I know that you’re not acting any better than him. I know that he’s gone Eddie. That he’s not going to wake up and suddenly remember you. He’s not going to show up at your door with a boombox playing some shitty 80’s love song. You’re not the only one that lost a friend. We’re all having just as difficult as a time, but you don’t care, do you?”

Eddie tensed. Luckily Mike saw it coming. He dove out of the way as Eddie swung at him. His punch landed on the side of the mattress. Eddie turned, still ready to fight. Mike dove forward, tackling him to the ground, pinning his arms.

“Listen, Eddie. We’re all here for you. Just let us help. You’re not going to get through it alone, none of us are. Don’t shut everyone out.”

Eddie finally stopped struggling. Mike sat back, leaning against the wall. For a second, Eddie looked like some of the weight he’d been carrying was gone. Both of them had been bottling things up, and maybe they’d needed to just say it.

“Just because we lost Richie, doesn’t mean we have to lose each other.”

\- - Eddie - -

Eddie blinked. He’d been laying on the floor of his room since Richie was in the hospital. After the first time seeing him without his memory, it was too hard. He couldn’t just stand there and act like his world wasn’t falling apart.

When he got home that day, he laid down and waited. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. Richie to get his memory back. To die. Have someone come in and yell at him. He was really only moving when it was a necessity, like when his mom forced him to eat.

He was just staring at his phone. Every time it beeped, he checked the name. Missed call after missed call. Unread text after unread text. None of it mattered. He’d lost his best friend. It didn’t matter if he responded now or in a few weeks.

The Toziers moved today. Bill had told him. Even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t cry. He just felt numb now. He’d started playing a playlist on Richie’s Spotify, but wasn’t really paying attention. It was just noise. Nosie that reminded him of Richie.

There was a knock at his window. He didn’t move. Maybe if he ignored it, whoever it was would leave. The window slid open. Of course, he couldn’t get lucky. He thought about not saying anything, but felt like if he didn’t admit it soon, it’d consume him.

“This is my fault.” His voice cracked. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard himself speak. His voice sounded distant, like it wasn’t his.

Mike sat next to him. “No, no it’s not. I’m serious Eddie. He knew you were dating Don. If he had a problem with this, he should have said something. You couldn’t control his actions.”

He loved Mike, but he didn’t need this. He didn’t need Mike to pretend he was innocent. Because he wasn’t. Eddie sat up. He was too angry to deal with the spinning from going to fast. It may have been the first time he moved all day.

“I didn’t have to tell him! I’m the one that broke our promise! I caused him to leave and go for a walk.”

“A promise you made when you were what five? Eddie, obviously Richie cared about you. But he knew that you being with Don on your birthday was a possibility. It’s not your fault he couldn’t grow up for five minutes to process his emotions properly.”

“What do you know?” Eddie knew he shouldn’t have said it. Mike didn’t deserve that. He was one of the nicest people Eddie knew. He was just trying to help. That’s what Mike did. He probably knew more about anything than the rest of them.

Mike took a shaky breath. Eddie had crossed a line. “I know that you’re not acting any better than him. I know that he’s gone Eddie. That he’s not going to wake up and suddenly remember you. He’s not going to show up at your door with a boombox playing some shitty 80’s love song. You’re not the only one that lost a friend. We’re all having just as difficult as a time, but you don’t care, do you?”

He didn’t care. He didn’t care that Mike was being nice and trying to help. Eddie was tired. He was tired of feeling nothing and Mike pushed the right button. He swung at Mike, but he was faster. When he turned to fight, Mike was already ready to tackle him.

“Listen, Eddie. We’re all here for you. Just let us help. You’re not going to get through it alone, none of us are. Don’t shut everyone out.” Mike sat back, leaning against the wall. “Just because we lost Richie, doesn’t mean we have to lose each other.”

Mike stayed for a while. They didn’t speak about anything specific after that. He forced Eddie to go downstairs and get something to eat. He waited for him to take a shower. He kept his phone away from him until he was done. He was the friend Eddie needed at that moment.

“I’ve got to go. My parents are expecting me.”

Eddie laid down on the bed, picking up his phone. He smiled at weakly at Mike and mumbled a thank you. He looked up when he heard the window shut. Just to make sure Mike wasn’t still watching him. Bev was standing awkwardly by the window.

“You should just go home Bev.” Eddie couldn’t handle more today. He couldn’t talk about it anymore.

“Not a chance.”

Bev laid down on the bed. Eddie rolled over, facing the wall. At first, he wanted Bev to leave. He wanted to go back to wallowing. But Mike’s words echoed through his head. _Just because we lost Richie, doesn’t mean we have to lose each other. _Eddie grabbed Bev’s hand, pulling her arm over him. She rolled closer.

“Thank you.” Eddie whispered. Bev squeezed his hand and for the first time since the accident he had a peaceful sleep.

\- - Richie - -

He was sitting at lunch in his new school. Honestly, most kids hated moving, but it was nice leaving Derry. When he woke up in the hospital, he wasn’t really sure what to say. The kids that came in were nice and he could tell it was hard for them. They wanted him to remember.

And he wanted to remember. All he knew was he didn’t want to look at his tattoo. It was on his arm. That was all. And he hadn’t seen it. He’d had them wrap it up in the hospital. When he got home, he showered in the dark or closed his eyes when it wasn’t covered. He didn’t know why he didn’t want to look, just that he felt sick when he thought about it. His anxiety shot up when he thought he might see it.

The chair next to him squeaked when the girl pulled it out. She dropped next to Richie with a curious look. Like he was a puzzle she could solve. Even out of the corner of his eye he could tell she was cute. _Game face, Tozier. _Richie turned to face her.

“Those are the thickest glasses I’ve ever seen.”

Richie blinked. That is not what he had expected. He had to bite his tongue, so he didn’t say something stupid. Like that’s not the thickest thing about me. Not the best way to make friends. So, he stayed quiet. Judging by his parent’s comments, that was something new.

“I’m Carol.” She grabbed a fry from his plate. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I get the feeling you’re going to ask it regardless of what I say, darling.” Richie said in a fake English accent.

“Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt? It’s August and this school doesn’t have air.”

Richie definitely did not expect to be talking about hist tattoo on the first day at his new school with the first person he met. He took a deep breath, wondering how to approach the topic. Maybe he should have worn a tshirt and wrapped the tattoo.

“Carol, lay off the new kid.” A guy dropped next to Carol. He threw an arm around her. “I’m Bobby.”

“Richie, ‘tis a pleasure.” Carol’s eyes narrowed. Probably catching on to Richie’s horrible accent. “Sorry about that. My mom says I tend to do accents.” They both gave him a confused look. “Oh, shit. I lost my memory a few weeks ago. I literally know like no personal details about myself.”

“That’s insane. Do you know how it happened?” Bobby elbowed Carol.

“No, it’s fine. A car hit me. My parents decided we’d move to be closer to family. Annnndddd that’s all folks.”


	6. Eddie's Birthday

“It makes no sense, Don.” Eddie groaned.

He’d been staring at his tattoo since he got it. When he got it, he instantly started to think of Richie. Why was he so dead set on seeing Eddie’s tattoo first? It’s not like it meant anything. He’d been racking his brain for something, anything that had happened to the two of them that would explain the tattoo.

“They don’t have to make sense. Didn’t you say that Mike’s was just freckles?”

Eddie knew he shouldn’t explain. Don didn’t want to hear about how he was trying to figure out how Richie and he could be soul mates. That was a can of worms he wasn’t ready to open. It probably didn’t mean anything, it probably didn’t even match Richie’s.

“I guess, but this doesn’t seem random. It’s a chain. It’s not even cute. Stan’s and Bill’s, beautiful. Bev and Ben’s adorable. Mike’s cute. Even yours! Mine’s just ugly.”

“First of all, it’s not ugly. Second, maybe you’ll meet that person and it will click. Maybe it’s some girl and she’s your old ball and chain.”

“Incredibly sexist, but that would make sense why I would never end up with her.”

Don laughed. Eddie felt like he had to justify he was happy. But he was. He was glad he was dating Don and it was going well. After the accident, Eddie almost broke up with him. Some kind of weird penance. Like if he gave up Don, Richie would come back. Luckily Bev had snapped him out of it.

Eddie’s thoughts drifted back to Don’s tattoo. It was an ink pen that almost looked like it feathered out at the end. Derry was written in cursive at the bottom. It was a running joke. Don hated Derry; his goal was to leave. Now he’d always have it with him. He was chained to it, just like Eddie was chained to some unknown person. 

“Well, we know that I’m not leaving for my soulmate,” Eddie said, with a bit of hesitation. It was dangerous territory, but they needed to talk about it. “I know we said we wouldn’t break up if the tattoos were different.”

“Are you ending this?”

“No, no! I just, what if you meet them. You know, your cosmic other half?”

Don sighed. Not the best sign. He knew what Don would say. That he had no intention of breaking up, but he couldn’t control the future. Things happen. People change. Sometimes he wished Don would be a little less of a realist and more of a romantic.

“I don’t believe in cosmic other halves. You know that. I don’t know what will happen in five years, a month, tomorrow, but I like you Eddie. I don’t foresee that changing.”

“How very Nicholas Sparks of you.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

Don placed a soft kiss on Eddie’s lips. He stood up from the table, asking Eddie if he needed something to drink. Eddie hummed in content. For a minute, he forgot that the first thing he did every morning was check for a message from Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thanks for the comments! It makes my day when I see one and is super motivating to keep writing.
> 
> Also, sorry it's short, but I figured the last chapter was kind of long and I think the next one will be long too. So a bit of a break.


	7. High School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers' lives in high school pose the usual high school problems. Well those, and soulmate problems because life just can't be easy for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the times on the college distance because I thought Maine was bigger than it is.

\- - Bill - -

“I am going to kill him,” Stan snapped.

He was currently shoved against a file cabinet in a supply closet. The smallest supply closet in the school and quite possibly the world. What good was it to even have a closet this small. Bill had his hand pressed next to Stan, trying to keep some of his weight off him.

Henry Bowers and his lackeys had shoved the two of them in here and the door was the kind that locked when it closed. While Bill was annoyed at the situation, he wasn’t going to complain about how close he was standing to Stan.

“You know, I can think of worse places to be.”

“Keep it in your pants, Bill.”

Bill threw his head back as he laughed, slamming it into the door. He cursed leaning forward again. He was only an inch or two away from Stan. Joke or not, Stan looked really cute. There was a soft light coming in from the small window above them. It was bouncing off his curls. If he could move, he would have run his hand through them.

“Can you reach your phone?” Stan asked. One of his hands was placed on the wall beside Bill. The other was pressed against his chest.

Bill shook his head. “Not unless you want to get a lot closer. It’s in my back pocket, think you can?”

Stan moved his hand from Bill’s chest, reaching into his pocket. He peered under Bill’s arm to see the screen. Bill tried his hardest not to stare at Stan. It was damn near impossible. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“When did you change your passcode?”

“Oh, um, it’s your birthday.”

Stan paused. His eyes met Bill’s as a smile tugged at his lips. He was never going to hear the end of this. If there was one thing he learned while dating Stan it was that he was ruthless with his teasing. Sometimes Bill didn’t even get it. Goddamn his dry humor.

He saw Stan mumbling something but couldn’t make out what he was saying. “Who checks their phone in class? Ben and Mike wont. Eddie left his at home. Bev has P.E. this hour. Is that all our friends, that’s so pathetic.”

Stan looked at Bill, exasperated. Bill laughed again. His head falling forward. They were going to be stuck here for another hour. He heard Stan splutter. Bill pulled back realizing his hair was in his face. What were they supposed to do now?

“Text them all, but it looks like we’ll be stuck in here for a while.”

The message sent noise went off and Stan slid Bill’s phone back into his pocket. His hand rested on his hip. Bill’s hand was starting to cramp. He dropped down to his elbow, his face even closer to Stan. Stan’s breath hitched and his eyes dropped to Bill’s lips.

“I can think of a way to pass the time.”

Stan scoffed and if there was room, he would have turned his head. “I don’t think that’s a game you want to play right now, Denbrough.”

“Try me, Uris.”

At that moment, the door behind Bill opened. He tumbled backwards, groaning as he landed. Stan wasn’t able to stop himself, so he crashed down on top of him. His head slammed into Bill’s chest. After a second, Stan pushed himself up. His legs were on either side of Bill. Bill didn’t even care that they were free.

“Thanks Mr. Fazio! I’ll make sure they get back to class.”

Bev looked down at the two of them. Mr. Fazio gave them a questioning look, his eyebrows raised. He didn’t say a word though as he shut and locked the closet door. He left without looking back at the group of them.

“I hate to break it to you boys, but I already knew you weren’t straight. You don’t need to literally come out of the closet,” Bev laughed.

Stan scrambled to stand up, a blush tinting his cheeks. He adjusted his shirt, ignoring the pointed look Bev gave him. Bill laughed as he stood up. He threw his arms around Stan pulling him close. His face turned even redder.

“What can I say, anyway I can remind you that I love him.”

Bev rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I got out of gym today.” Both Stan and Bill gave her a questioning look. She bent over. “These cramps are killing me. But seriously, how did you two end up in there?”

“How do you think?”

“Fair enough,” Bev answered, knowing it was Bowers.

They still had thirty minutes before their next class, but none of them wanted to go. “Let’s ditch,” Bill said. “All of us. We can text the others. I just feel like we need a break you know. It’s a tough time.”

The implication was clear. Today was Richie’s birthday. They’d been able to move on, live their lives, but his birthday and Bev’s were always hard. They usually tried to do something on Bev’s birthday as a group, but it was harder on his birthday since it usually fell on a weekday. Bev and Stan agreed, and sent a text to the others to meet them.

\- - Ben - -

The table was silent. After their classes got out, he’d found Mike and Eddie to meet the others. They were sitting around a table at the Chinese restaurant. Luckily, nobody seemed to mind they were skipping school.

“This was a great idea,” Eddie murmured. “I’d much rather sit around a table not talking, blatantly aware that one of us is missing than be distracted by school.”

“What do you propose?” Bev asked.

“Do you ever think we should stop memorializing these days?” Ben spoke in a soft voice. “I feel like it just makes it harder when they come.”

Nobody answered, they didn’t need to. Ben knew he was wrong. They’d tried not meeting up one year on a Saturday. Bev had called him crying, already walking to his house. On the way, she’d run into Bill, literally. He’d fallen of his bike and still had a scar from it. Bill was on his way to Eddie’s. When they got there, Eddie and Mike were already in Ben’s room.

They finished eating and decided to break into pairs for a bit. They planned to meet up at the Aladdin theatre. They had an old horror movie playing tonight for a quarter. The day everyone had met up at Ben’s they decided that no matter what, they’d go to a movie on Richie’s birthday.

Ben and Bev started walking through the park. When they got to the old Paul Bunyan statue, Ben stopped her. She turned, confused. Five years and he still couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her in his life.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m just really happy you’re here.” Bev stared at him. “Like in my life here. Not in front of this creepy statue.”

Bev wrapped her arms around Ben’s waist. Ever since his growth spurt, she wasn’t able to reach very high. He looked down with a smile before pulling her into a tight embrace. He rested his chin on top of her head, enjoying the peaceful moment.

“I love you. You know that, right?” She murmured.

“I love you too.”

It was starting to snow, the flakes landing in Bev’s hair seemed to sparkle. They didn’t speak as they started walking again, just made their way through the park. When they stopped at the coffee shop, they saw Mike and Eddie sitting inside.

Ben smiled; it was almost like fate was bringing them together again. Once in the Losers club, always in the Losers club. They looked up at the bell chiming. Eddie rolled his eyes, but a smile broke out on his face. Bev sat with them as Ben went to order.

They were just talking about school and assignments when Bill and Stan walked in. Separating had apparently been a vain idea. Bill and Stan joined them. Once they all had a drink in front of them, they fell into a peaceful silence.

Stan was the first to break it. “This might not be the best idea, but I really want to reminisce. Kind of an homage to Richie? I mean it’s the last year we’ll all be together on his birthday.”

The realization hit them. All of them, except Stan, were graduating in a few months. They weren’t going far, but it would be different. Ben and Bill were going to a college that was ten hours away. Mike, Bev, and Eddie would be going to one six hours away.

“Awww, does Stan the Man wish he’d actually become Stan, Richie’s Man,” Bev joked.

Stan fake gagged. “I’d have figured you’d want to date him Ms. Ringwald.” Stan pointed a cinnamon stick at her.

“Stanny, he had more than enough love to share. Besides we all know Spaghetti Head was his one and only.”

“Fucking hell, I forgot about that one,” Eddie groaned. “I think that was the worst.”

“I can’t say Eddie Spaghetti or Eddie my love, were much better…Eds,” Bill laughed.

“Of course, you’d say that Big Bill, you had one of the better nicknames. Imagine being called Haystack. I think that was the oldest reference he could think of.”

“To Richie’s credit, you did end up around the same height as him.” Mike laughed. “And, you all got nicknames.”

“Even Richie knew he couldn’t mess with perfection Mike.”

They fell silent again, thinking of their favorite memories of Richie. Ben still remembers when he ran into him and Bev outside of the Aladdin. It was one of the first time’s he’d hung out with Bev when everyone wasn’t around. Even back then Richie knew Ben was in love with her.

Richie had ducked out halfway through the movie, saying he’d forgotten to tell his mom he was going, and she’d be pissed. They knew it was a lie. But Bev and Ben didn’t care. He’d been trying to work up the courage to hold her hand when she’d grabbed his. Come to think of it, Ben had never thanked Richie for that.

\- - Mike - -

“Nope, nope, you’re wrong. The worst accent was that Irish one. Remember when he said it to the officer, from Ireland?” Mike laughed, setting his empty cup down.

“I’m sorry, but how did we forget Pancho Vanilla?” Bev had tears streaming down her face. The six of them spoke at the same time. “Thee sees the rurales, senhorr!”

Bev leaned to the side, bumping into him. It felt like forever since they’d laughed like this. He felt drunk from giddiness. Richie would be happy they were spending his birthday like this, together, laughing. He’d be especially happy they never forgot him. The laughter died down and an eerie silence fell over them.

“Do you guys ever think about contacting him again? To see if he remembers? Or if he even if he still has the same number?” Stan asked.

“Probably once a week,” Mike answered.

“I keep waiting for him to text me. Something stupid, you know? Like hey sweetheart, got any cigarettes I can bum?”

“He really knew how to lighten the mood, didn’t he?” Ben sighed, looking at his watch. “Oh, hey, we better get going or we’ll miss the previews.”

They let the coffee shop without any more talk of Richie. Bill threw an arm around Stan’s shoulders, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Bev grabbed Ben’s hand, pulling her close. Mike was happy for them, he was. He was fine that he hadn’t met his soulmate, moments like this made him wonder what it was like.

It was a quiet walk to the theatre. Mike could hear the crunch of the snow beneath his feet. He looked down, surprised how much it had snowed in the short time they were in the café. As he was looking up, he ran into someone.

She was looking up at the sky, just staring at the snow coming down. Mike’s arm went out instinctively, making sure she didn’t fall. She gasped at the sudden stop, her hand catching Mike’s bicep. She stared at him, silent. The snowflakes were dotting her shoulders.

Suddenly he wasn’t cold anymore, a warmth spread over his shoulders and back. The same warmth he’d felt when he was thirteenth. The girl must have felt it too because she tensed. Neither of them spoke, not knowing what to say.

He almost missed the smirk Bev gave him, over her shoulder. “We’ll see you at the theatre Mike!”

“I’m Mike by the way,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

“Carole,” the girl laughed.

“Why have I never seen you around Derry?”

“I’m just visiting family over the holidays.”

Mike smiled. “Looks like the library closed at the right time.”

\- - Bev - -

Somehow, Bev knew the minute that she saw Mike’s face that the girl was his soulmate. She’d wondered when he’d meet her, met anyone that took his breath away. They were sitting in the near empty theatre. Bev wondered if Mike would even be joining them.

The movie was some awful horror movie about a werewolf. It seemed fitting that they last movie they’d watch on Richie’s birthday was the last one they’d actually seen with him in theatre. He’d been terrified of werewolves after this.

That was one of the first times Bower’s gang had terrorized them at the same time. That of course, was Richie’s fault. Eddie had accidentally knocked popcorn over the balcony, and it landed on them. Henry had yelled a threat at them, so Richie decided to make it worse. He took his Hawaiian punch and poured it on top of them.

They’d been chased out to the barrens. Luckily, they’d already built the small hideout. Bev wondered if it was still out there. Richie always used to joke that one day they’d go out and get high there. Just one of those things that never happened.

She flipped the arm rest up, leaning against Ben. He put his arm around her as she snuggled closer. He was staring at the screen, enthralled in the previews. It was his favorite part of the movie. Just as the trailers were about to end, Mike sat in the seat next to her.

“What are you doing? Your soulmate’s literally right outside!”

“Soulmate or not, this is our night. I’m not going to throw that away for a girl I just met. Besides, she’s here all winter break. We’re going out tomorrow.”

Mike was practically glowing the whole movie. She knew he was barely focusing. She doubted any of them were. Stan and Bill were whispering through the whole movie. Ben kept looking at her, smiling. Eddie wasn’t even looking at the screen. He was staring at the spot where the Bowers gang sat all those years ago.

It was dark by the time they left the theatre. It had finally stopped snowing and a peaceful silence had fallen over the town. Bev wasn’t ready to go home. She wasn’t ready for this day to be over. It’d been almost perfect.

“Do you guys want to come to my house?” Bill asked. “I doubt my parents will mind. They know it’s Richie’s birthday.”

It didn’t take any convincing and soon they were sitting in Bill’s basement. Mike was telling them the little he knew about Carole. Someone asked if they could see the color of his tattoo. He pulled of his sweater, showing them the freckles. They were now a golden color. Bev gasped. Mike’s tattoo was possibly her favorite, and he deserved it.

“Bill!” Georgie yelled from the top of the stairs. “Mom said Bev has to sleep in your room tonight.”

Bev groaned. His parents had started to enforce that rule after his twelfth birthday. Usually they watched a movie and fall asleep, but every once and a while they’d wake up the next day with some inside joke. After that, they started texting her, so she felt included.

“She’ll be up in a minute Georgie!”

“Bill, I’m not six anymore. Can you please start calling me George?” They could practically hear the eyeroll in his voice.

Bev stood, saying goodnight to the others before running up the steps. “What about me Georgie?” She ran up to him, lifting him off the floor in a hug. It was difficult since he was almost the same height as her now. George laughed as she set him back down. “So, are you excited? You’re almost thirteen now.”

“You sound just like Bill.” George said, walking with Bev upstairs. “I am though. Just kind of excited to have it over, really. Everyone just seems on edge waiting for it to happen. But it’s not even the good part. You won’t know until you meet them.”

“How’d you get to be so wise Georgie?”

“Don’t tell him, but I have a really smart brother.”

Bev laughed as she opened the door to Bill’s room. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

She flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Her phone chimed.

**Future Mr. Marsh**: _Goodnight. I love you. _

Bev smiled at the phone before texting Ben back, something told her the upcoming year would be pretty great.

\- - Stan - -

“Nothing would have happened!” Stan snapped. “We were not going to make out in a locked closet, at school.”

“So, you’re saying you’d make out with him if it weren’t at school?” Eddie asked.

Stan huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Bill just had to bring up what happened today. His friends were the worst. They hadn’t stopped teasing him since and he had a feeling they wouldn’t let up just because he was ignoring them.

Bill smirked at him, like he knew this was going to happen. He always said he thought it was cute when Stan got flustered and embarrassed. Well two could play at that game. They were staring at Stan, thinking he wouldn’t answer.

“Sure.” He shrugged.

There was a moment of stunned silence, just a moment. “Bullshit, you won’t even let Bill hold your hand in public most of the time. There’s no way you would make out with him if you thought people were nearby.”

Stan refrained from glaring at Mike. Instead he glanced at Bill. He still had the same look on his face, but he shrugged as if to say, when they’re right they’re right. Stan couldn’t explain what came over him in that moment, but he really wanted to prove them all wrong.

He stood up, grabbing Bill’s hand. “Let’s go then.”

“W-w-what,” Bill stuttered, something that hadn’t happened in years. Stan tugged him along, not bothering to answer. “Stan, I don’t think the closet in my basement counts as public.”

The others were waiting for Stan to bail. He could tell. He placed his free hand on the closet handle and turned to Bill. He leaned against the door, his other hand hooking a finger in Bill's belt loop. He pulled slightly and Bill stumbled closer.

“Didn’t think you’d give up on a technicality, Denbrough. Doesn’t really sound like you. Besides, public means affecting all of the people. Pretty sure this affects the people here.”

Bill’s gaze dropped to Stan’s mouth before lifting back to his eyes. The tension was palpable. Everyone was waiting to see who backed down first. There was no way it would be Stan. For a second, he thought Bill was going to forego the closet when a phone went off. Bill jumped back with a curse word.

“It’s just Bev,” Ben announced, “she doesn’t think Stan will go through it.”

“It’s up to you Uris.”

Stan opened the door and pulled Bill along by his belt loop. Bill turned Stan around as soon as the door was closed, pushing him against it. He had a look, like he knew Stan was going to give up, push him away and walk back out into the living room.

Bill leaned forward, dropping his voice so no one would hear. Stan could feel his breath on his ear. “We don’t have to do this. I’ll tell them all you went through with it or whatever, but you shouldn't feel the need to prove something.”

Stan swallowed. He threaded his fingers through Bill’s hair, turning his head so he could look him in the eyes. Just as he was about to tell him he was fine, the door opened. For the second time that day, they fell out of the closet onto the floor.

“If I knew this would happen every time I was in a closet with you Stan, I might be a little weary about going in one,” Bill groaned.

Stan laughed, stress and tension from everything drifting away. He looked up to see the others staring at them. Ben snapped a picture, most likely sending it to Bev. Bill didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry to stand up.

“Fine, you proved us wrong Stan,” Mike laughed.

“But we really don’t want to hear that,” Eddie grimaced. “Especially since Bill has no self-control.”

Bill flipped Eddie off as he stood up. He stretched before offering a hand to Stan. He pulled him up easily, going to the couch. Stan sat down next to him, leaning against him. It was honestly surprising Bill's parents let him stay in the basement, but made Bev go upstairs. Not that he minded. He quickly fell asleep listening to the others talking.

\- - Eddie - -

“I think I’m dying,” Eddie groaned, letting his head fall to the table.

They’d been up until four the night before. Then Georgie woke them up at six. He could not survive on two hours. Stan and Bev were the only ones who got any rest the night before. He almost skipped again but knew that wasn’t the best idea.

“That’s what you get,” Don laughed.

He glared at Don, which only caused him to laugh more. They were sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for class to start. Don handed him a water bottle, which Eddie grateful accepted. Hopefully the growing headache was just from dehydration, not lack of sleep, but that felt like wishful thinking.

The warning bell went off, eliciting another groan from Eddie. They stood up and started walking to their first class. They rounded the corner into the hall when Don ran into someone. They kid stumbled backwards before he managed to get his footing.

“I’m so sor-” Don froze.

His eyes were locked on the person in front of him. Eddie had no idea who it was, but he didn’t move or say anything. He looked shocked. Eddie glanced between the two of them before he realized what was happening. And it suddenly felt like the world was falling apart.

His swung his backpack around, searching for his inhaler. He hadn’t used it in a while, he didn’t need it. But he couldn’t breathe. _Fuck, where was it._ He tipped the bag over, shaking everything out. Don reached down, catching the inhaler before it hit the ground. Eddie grabbed it, scrambling to use the inhaler.

“Eddie? Eddie, are you going to be okay?” Eddie waved Don off nodding.

Don picked up his stuff, putting it back into his bag. When Eddie lowered the inhaler, he took the bag from Don. “I’m going to go to class.” Eddie whispered, bolting before Don could stop him.

-

Of course, he would have second period with Don. He’d want to talk about it and that’s the last thing Eddie wanted to do. Don sat next to him, taking a deep breath. Eddie ignored him. He kept staring at the book in front of him.

“Eddie will you look at me?” Eddie didn’t move. “I can’t help that I met him. It’s not like anything happened.”

“What was it like?” Eddie whispered, still not looking at Don. Don didn’t answer. He finally turned to look at him. “The truth.”

“Like something clicked.” Don stared at Eddie. “But I don’t care. I don’t know him. I’m not going to throw away a relationship I’ve had for five years with someone I love for some kid I saw in a hallway.”

Five years. It was five years ago that Don had told him everything would be okay. That he didn’t know what would happen in five years, a month, tomorrow. Here it was. Five years and Eddie knew, he knew something was changing.

-

It was a month since Don had met his soulmate, Adrian. They’d been spending more and more time together. Eddie knew what was coming. He wasn’t an idiot. It still hurt though, every second of it. He stopped bringing it up. He knew there wasn’t really anything going on, but there would be.

“Eddie,” Don said softly. Here it was. “I have to tell you something.” Don took a deep breath. “I love you. You know that, right?” Eddie barely managed a nod. “Eddie, I do. I probably always will.”

Eddie bit his lip, fighting back tears. “We should break up.” Don tensed; surprise etched into his face. “I can’t do this. I love you too, Don. But I can’t watch you fall in love with Adrian.”

Don looked away, inhaling sharply. He knew the implication behind Eddie’s words. He couldn’t lose another person he loved.

“I promise I didn’t see this happening.” Don grabbed Eddie's hand as he lifted his other hand, gently touching Eddie’s face. “I really didn’t.” 

“I know. You don’t believe in cosmic other halves. You liked me and didn’t foresee that happening.”

“It still hasn’t. And Eddie, when you meet yours, you’ll understand.”

Eddie nodded like he expected to do just that, but he didn’t. Eddie didn’t want to live in a world where soulmates existed. Not if it was like this. Not if it broke people like this. That was the day Eddie Kaspbrak truly stopped believing in soulmates.

\- - Richie - -

Sandy’s hand ran over his tattoo. Richie had finally gotten the rest of the sleeve. When he was sixteen, he’d convinced his parents to let him get the top half of his arm covered. He’d managed to make it through those three years without knowing what his tattoo was. He still didn’t.

On his eighteenth birthday, he had immediately gone to get the rest of it done. And yesterday had been his last appointment. It was finally finished. He often thought about which one was the soulmate tattoo, but he hoped he never knew.

“Do you have a favorite?”

Richie laughed. “I think the chain one is cool, but I don’t know about a favorite.”

Sandy rolled over so she was on top of him. “I like all of them, super-hot.” Richie flipped them over, smirking as he did. She shoved his shoulder until he fell next to her. “Knock it off. My parents will be home soon.”

Richie groaned, standing up and getting dressed. He’d met Sandy a few days after her eighteen birthday and a few days before his. They’d tried dating, but quickly realized it would never work. They dissolved into a weird friends-with-benefits situation. Sometimes Richie wondered if it would have worked out if she didn’t believe in soulmates. Other times he knew he wasn’t serious enough for her.

“I can’t believe you’re moving. To the fucking East Coast.”

“They have a great broadcasting arts program.”

“We’re in California, Richard! What better broadcasting programs are there?”

Richie shook his head, buttoning his shirt. He’d had this conversation a million times. Between Sandy, Carol, and Bobby, he felt like he was just on repeat. They wouldn’t leave it be, despite all his reasons. He felt like he could snap.

“Sandy, we’ve been through this. I’m not going to suddenly decide not to go.”

She sighed, laying back down on the bed. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before grabbing his phone. He said goodbye as he left her room. Thankfully he was able to leave before her parents got home.

He parked his car, resting his head against the steering wheel. It wasn’t just his friends. Even his parents didn’t understand why he was going back to the east coast. There was something drawing him there though. He couldn’t explain it.

A week. He was moving in a week. His life was going to change completely, he knew it. He just wasn’t sure how.


	8. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bev, Eddie, Mike, and Richie move into their dorm rooms.

\- - Stan - -

Stan didn’t want to be awake. He didn’t want the day to start. Maybe if he just stayed quiet, listening to Bill’s steady breath, he could pretend this wasn’t happening. That everyone wasn’t moving away. He curled closer to Bill, watching his chest rise and fall.

He felt Bill’s arm around him tighten. Of course, he couldn’t stay in that moment. Bill looked down at him with a smile. He was looking at Stan like there was no one else in the world. If only he wasn’t leaving in a few hours.

“How are you my soulmate?”

Stan’s heart fluttered. He couldn’t remember the last time Bill had referred to him as his soulmate. Come to think of it, Stan couldn’t remember a time he had. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at Bill right now.

“Stan, are you okay?”

“Not really, no.” Bill waited. “Ten hours. You’re going to be ten hours away. I know it’s not really a big deal, but.”

“Hey.” Bill tilted Stan’s head up to face him. “If it’s really making you this upset, it’s a big deal.”

Stan pushed away from Bill, sitting up. He felt like he’d been living in a bubble for the last five years. A bubble that was about to burst. From the first moment Bill realized they were soulmates, something bad was going to happen. He might as well stop fighting it.

Stan bolted from the bed, like he’d been burnt. He ran his hand through his hair. Bill was going to move. He was going to meet someone and realize that it didn’t matter what some stupid tattoo meant, he didn’t care about Stan other than as a friend.

Bill stood. He grabbed Stan, pulling him close. Stan pushed Bill away, stumbling backwards. They didn’t make sense. They never had. Stan couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t deal with things that didn’t make sense.

“I can’t do this,” his voice is shaking.

“Can you explain to me what is happening?” Bill’s eyes were wide, afraid.

“I don’t deserve you.” Bill opened his mouth to speak. “Don’t. Don’t tell me you’re not perfect. I know that. Sometimes you think very highly of yourself. You’re very self-assured. You try to dictate people, like a self-appointed leader. You’re not the most affectionate. But damn Bill, I still think you’re perfect. I can’t, I can’t be that for you.”

Bill stared at him. Taking in Stan’s rushed statement. And the bubble burst. Stan knew what was next. Bill would give up. He’d nod and leave. He’d go home then go to college. He’d meet someone and fall in love. He’d act like Stan and him were still friends. Like the last five years hadn’t happened. Stan knew. Because there’s some things Bill didn’t fight for.

But he didn’t move. He just stared at Stan. Stan really wished they’d stayed at Bill’s last night. Then he could leave. He could go home and process everything. He felt too vulnerable standing there. He couldn’t figure out what Bill was doing.

“Do you really think that?” It was a whisper. “After five years?” Stan’s gaze fell to the floor, waiting for Bill to leave. “Stop doing that.”

“I’m sorry?” He snapped finally looking at Bill. “Doing what? Waiting for you to do what you should have done years ago?”

“Seriously Stan? Why do you do this? Act like you don’t deserve to be happy. For fucks sake Stan. You’re so black and white about everything. If something doesn’t make sense the way you want it to, you immediately dismiss it as wrong.”

Stan crossed his arms. “Things have to make sense Bill. This isn’t one of your writings where you can just make something work through wistful thinking.” Bill didn’t say anything, just gave him an exasperated look. “See, this is what I mean. I do see things in black and white. That’s who I am. The fact that you don’t accept that, just shows that I’m right.”

“So what? Are you saying I’ve been pretending to love you for five years? That I’m just sticking around because it’s easy? Because the universe told me? That as soon as something better comes along, I’m going to leave?”

“Yeah.”

He immediately wished he hadn’t answered. It was like watching Bill’s heart break. Bill nodded. “Because you not knowing something terrifies you, right. The fact that you can’t understand something is the worst thing you can imagine.” Bill walked towards Stan, stopping so they were only a few inches apart. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Stan didn’t answer, because Bill was right. They both knew it. And he hated that. He glanced at the door, still waiting for Bill to just, walk out. He’d said what he needed to before Bill left and that should have been the push.

“I’m not leaving, so stop looking at the door.”

“You’re going to have to leave soon. You’re meeting everyone for lunch.”

“Not if you’re not there I’m not.” Bill pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Do you want to know why I am, as you so delicately put it, very self-assured? Because I know you’re going to be there. If I fail, you’re there. If I can’t figure something out, you can.

“Can you, for a second, let me be that person for you? Just know that if there’s some grey in your world, I can explain it? That if you’re falling, I’m still going to be there. I’m not going to be six steps out the door. I’ve been trying to show you that for five years, Stan.”

“Do you have to be so authorly all the time?” Stan groaned. “It makes it really hard to spiral.”

“It’s okay to spiral,” Bill laughed, pulling Stan into a hug. “Just let me spiral with you.”

\- - Bill - -

He kept looking at Stan. Things weren’t back to normal. He still felt like Stan was going to try and run the next time he started to over think, or something went wrong. They’d been talking about it on the trip to the University. Which was a good thing. Stan was finally being honest.

For the last five years, Bill knew Stan wasn’t opening up. He was always filtering his words, catching himself, stopping midsentence when it got too tense. Bill didn’t want that. He wanted Stan to act like he had been earlier. Tell him what was going on so they could work on it. And that’s what they were starting to do.

About four hours into the trip Stan fell asleep. He was curled up in his seat, head resting on the window. Bill was having a hard time concentrating on the road. Stan looked incredibly peaceful. Like he wasn’t weighing the pros and cons of their relationships. Like he wasn’t trying to solve it. Bill smiled and shook his head. He couldn’t believe how much he loved Stan.

“What are you smiling about?” Stan murmured.

“Can’t believe how lucky I am.” Bill shrugged. Stanley rolled his eyes, putting his legs on the ground. Bill reached over and grabbed his hand. “Really.” Stan hummed. “Even after your mild freak out this morning.”

He could feel Stan staring at him, which only made him smile more. They’d luckily been able to leave on time and weren’t hitting any traffic. Which means they’d be able to pick up the others by one. He and Bev had given the others several reasons as to why they wanted to take one car rather than meet at the resturant, but it was really because they wanted to go to an abandoned house Bev’s cousin had told her about.

“I have a weird feeling about today. Which probably contributed to my_ mild freak out this morning._” Stan gave him a very pointed look. “I know it’s probably just everyone leaving, but it feels like something more than that.”

Bill knew what he meant. The closer they got, the stronger it was. He didn’t want to tell Stan that though. It would only lead him further down the rabbit hole. Bill shrugged off. It was more than likely they were just nervous about the upcoming year. For the first time in their lives, they were going to be more than a few blocks away.

Their phones went off at the same time. Stan quickly read the text. “Bev already made a friend.” Bill laughed, of course she did. “She wants to know if we care if she invites him.” Another message. “She says, he’s a loser just like us.”

“Can’t wait to meet him. You know what? It’s going to be weird. Everyone meeting new people. Hell, she’ll probably bring a whole group of people home for Christmas break for us to meet.”

“Bill I’m sorry.” Stan whispered. “For what I said earlier.”

Bill bit his lip, thinking what the best way to respond was. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” Stan squeezed his hand but didn’t respond. “What makes you say that though?”

“Just wanted you to know. In case,” Stan trailed off, but Bill knew what he meant.

In case something happened. Something like Richie’s accident where they’d wake up the next day and regret not telling the other the truth. In that moment, Bill was happy to sit in silence with Stan. To just know he was still there.

An hour later they pulled up to the dorm that Bev and Eddie were living in. Bev was already standing outside with her new friend. He threw his head back laughing and Bill’s jaw dropped. There’s no way.

“Holy shit,” Stan whispered. “Is that?”

They shared a look and then bolted out of the car as fast as possible.

\- - Mike - -

“Oh, come on Eddie, move in day is supposed to be exciting!” Mike cheered.

Eddie glared at him, which only caused Mike to laugh. Mike had always been a morning person, probably had something to do with his schedule from the farm. Mike and Eddie had decided to drive up together and Mike’s parents were driving up tomorrow.

Mike wanted a few hours to start moving boxes and unpacking before they went to lunch. He’d picked Eddie up at four this morning. Mike knew Eddie was not a morning person, but this whole ride was cracking him up.

For the first hour Eddie was trying not to sleep, his head kept bobbing up and down. Whenever he jolted awake, his head slammed against the window. The second hour, he completely passed out, snoring loud enough that he woke himself up. He had completely ignored Mike for the next hour and the hour after that he complained about mornings.

“Do you want to know why mornings suck?” Eddie asked. Mike glanced at him before looking back at the road. “You only get let down the rest of the day.”

“Quit being so melodramatic. Aren’t you excited for a fresh start, away from Derry? Away from Don? Away from…” Mike trailed off. He didn’t need to continue. Eddie knew he was about to say Richie.

They fell quiet again. Eddie need this move. He needed to get away from the shit hand he’d been dealt back home. He had too many skeletons in his closet. Over the last few months it felt like he was withdrawing, like he had after Richie’s accident.

“Are you happy about being closer to Carole?”

“Yeah. I mean it hasn’t been too bad, but it’ll be nice seeing her more than on holidays.”

Mike hadn’t always believed in soulmates. Sure, he thought the concept was cool, but he didn’t really understand it. He was fine with not meeting his soulmate too. When he was younger, he used to tell his parents that he was going to become a librarian and live in Derry alone. And that was his plan.

Until he met Carole. It wasn’t immediate like he’d expected. It was just like any relationship. The universe was just the one to push him. She was studying dual history and librarian sciences majors. His parents both fell in love with her the first time they met.

The first time she came to visit, they’d fallen asleep on the porch talking about the history of Derry. He’d woken up to Carole and his dad drinking coffee has he told her about the Black Spot fire. His mom was yelling at them to come eat. Mike couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he was.

Mike checked into his dorm and Eddie helped him carry in the few boxes he brought. His parents were moving the rest of his things up tomorrow. He’d offered to help Eddie move his stuff up since his mother refused. Mike quickly unpacked his boxes and made his bed while Eddie went to check into his dorm.

Shortly after, Mike was setting down some of boxes in Eddie's room when their phones went off at the same time. He was going to ignore it but several more messages came through. He sighed, knowing it was probably the group chat. Eddie didn’t grab his phone, probably assuming Mike would say something if it was important.

**Bev: ** _I met someone care if I invite him to lunch?_

**Bev: ** _he’s a Loser like us. _

**Stan:** _Bill and I can’t wait to meet him Bev. _

**Ben**: _Youve been gone for five minutes_

**Ben: ** _But of course I dont mind!_

**Mike: ** _If you think they’ll fit in they must be cool_

**Bev: ** _wouldn’t stretch it by saying he’s cool Mikey _

Mike was about to let Eddie know when there was a knock at the door. Mike watched as Eddie’s face paled. He turned around to see Myra Martin standing in the doorway. Mike said hello but decided it would be easier if Eddie talked to her alone. He excused himself, going to see where Bev’s room was.

Ben was hanging up lights around Bev’s room when he knocked. He waved Mike in; his concentration barely breaking. Mike dropped on the bed while he waited for him to finish. He’d help unpack, but he wasn’t sure where Bev wanted things.

“Bev still with her new friend?”

“Yeah, they’re just going to meet us outside,” Ben answered. He stepped off the chair and set down the hooks he was holding. “Which we should be doing now.”

Mike held the door open for Ben, running into him when he went to join Bev and the others. He peaked out around Ben, freezing. He definitely did not expect that today.

\- - Ben - -

Ben stood to the side of the lobby, waiting for Bev to get her key. He couldn’t help but smile. She pushed her hair to the side, the look of confusion on her face becoming more evident. Eddie pointed to something and laughed. Bev shoved him lightly before laughing with him.

Bev gestured for Ben to follow her. They brought her boxes in from Ben’s truck before taking a break. Bev flopped back onto the bed. Ben sat down next to her, looking around the room. He knew they were only going to be a few hours apart, but it was going to be difficult not seeing her every day.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bev said, poking him in the side.

“Just glad I started running in high school. I don’t think we could have shared a bed when I came to visit.”

“Whatever. You should be thinking about all the boys and girls who will be knocking down your door.” Ben furrowed his eyebrows, looking at her. “You, Ben Hanscom, are a catch. Actually, if there was a step above that, that’s what you are.”

Ben rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Bev. She always teased him because he was oblivious to other people flirting. He couldn’t count the amount of times someone had been surprised when he talked about Bev halfway through their conversation.

“Do you think you could hang these lights up for me?” Bev asked, pulling a strand of Christmas lights from a box. “I want them to go around the ceiling and end so I can plug them in next to my bed.”

Ben pulled out her desk chair ready to start hanging up the lights when Bev turned on I’ll Be Loving You by New Kids on the Block. Ben grabbed her arm when she went to grab a box, pulling her closer. He hooked an arm around her waist, swaying slowly.

Bev laughed, standing on her toes so she could put her arms around his neck. Suddenly they were thirteen again, after their first date. They’d been walking home from a movie listening to music on Ben’s phone. When the New Kids on the Block song started playing, Bev pulled Ben into the empty street and made him dance with her.

Ben looked down at her while the song was ending. “I love you.”

Bev went to answer when they heard Eddie shouting from the hall. “You two are disgusting!”

Bev shook her head and they two started unpacking. It was around twelve thirty when Ben started hanging up her lights. Bev threw the last of her pillows on the bed before slipping on her shoes and grabbing her wallet.

“I’m going to get a soda from the vending machines. Do you want anything?”

Ben waved her off. He couldn’t figure out the best way to get the lights hung up as the back of the hooks weren’t sticking to the bricks well. Ben didn’t even notice that she’d been gone for over fifteen minutes until his phone went off. He dropped onto the chair to read the messages.

**Beverly <3: ** _I met someone care if I invite him to lunch?_

**Beverly <3: ** _he’s a Loser like us. _

**Stan:** _Bill and I can’t wait to meet him Bev. _

Ben smiled at his phone. Of course, she’d go to get a drink and run into someone. They probably instantly loved her, just like everyone who met Bev. It was honestly surprising that she hadn’t already met several people to invite to lunch.

Ben sent a quick reply before he got back to hanging up the lights. He was just about finished when he heard a knock at the door. Ben waved Mike in, barely taking the time to check that it was someone he knew. Mike looked around the room for a second, probably seeing if there was something he could help with before sitting on the bed.

“Bev still with her new friend?”

“Yeah, they’re just going to meet us outside. Which we should be doing now.”

Ben locked the door and they made their way outside. He stepped outside and froze when he saw Bev. Well, froze when he saw who she was talking to. Mike bumped into Ben, but he couldn’t move. He felt like he was in the twilight zone.

\- - Eddie - -

Eddie dropped the last of Mike’s boxes in his room. He said goodbye before walking to his dorm to check in. Luckily Ben and Bev were walking into the dorm at the same time as Eddie. The guy working with them to sign in was infuriatingly peppy. Way too peppy for what time it was.

Eddie was happy to be leaving Derry. The older he got the worse his mom was. Plus, everything that had happened with Don just made him want to leave the town. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that things weren’t going to be better here.

After he got to his room, he texted Mike to let him know when he was parked outside so he could start bringing in his stuff. He debated walking around the dorm to see if he knew anyone but didn’t want to risk running into someone he hated. Besides, he couldn’t count the amount of people he’d run into or been introduced to. It was exhausting.

Luckily, he and Mike weren’t talking very much since they were just unloading Eddie’s stuff. It gave Eddie time to think. Well, maybe more time to spiral. What if nothing changed? What if he just kept reliving the same nonsense, he’d experienced his whole life. Just never escaped the constant heart breaks and the control of his mother. 

Speaking of which. Eddie looked up to see Myra Martin standing in his doorway. He couldn’t do this again. Myra wouldn’t leave him alone. No matter how many times he told her he wasn’t interested. No matter how many times he said he was gay. It felt like she was trying to berate him into dating her.

Mike said hello before leaving. Eddie stood close to the door, stopping Myra from entering. He knew if he did, there was no way she would leave in time for lunch. Eventually Eddie stepped of his room, pulling his door shut. Social politeness be damned.

“Myra, I have to go. I am meeting some people for lunch.” Eddie pushed passed her, not stopping for an answer. “I’m sure I’ll see you around sometime.”

Did she have to come to the same university as him? He shook Myra from his thoughts, rushing to get outside. He pulled out his phone seeing a number of texts in the Losers group chat. Damn Bev and her charming personality. He did not need to meet another new person today and go to lunch with him.

**Eddie**: _Sorry! On my way out. Ran into Myra_

He shoved his phone into his pocket. As he opened the door. The others were standing in a group laughing at something.

“Shit, you must be Eddie!” 

The next thing Eddie knew he was punching Bev’s _new_ friend.

\- - Bev - -

Bev could have stayed in that moment forever. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t going to see Ben everyday anymore. As the song was ending, Ben looked down at her with a smile. It was just another small reminder of how much she loved him.

“I love you,” he said, as if reading her mind.

“You two are disgusting!” Eddie shouted.

Bev shook her head, of course he’d ruin the perfect moment. She handed a box to Ben to have him start unpacking. Closer to lunch she realized the lights had been abandoned. She pointed them out to Ben because there was no way she was going to be able to hang those without his help.

After making her bed, she realized she needed a drink. “I’m going to get a soda from the vending machines. Do you want anything?” Bev asked as she put on her shoes.

Ben just waved her off, too focused on the lights. She leaned against the door frame for a moment, watching him. She couldn’t help but smile. After getting something to drink she decided to walk through the first floor instead of going up the stairs right away. It was interesting to see how everyone else decorated their rooms.

She was almost to the opposite end of the hall when she caught a name out of the corner of her eye. _R. Tozier. _Bev froze. She reread and reread the name written on the door decal. That couldn’t be possible. She finally forced herself to look away from the paper.

She glanced into the guy's room. He was standing on his bed, hanging up a poster. There was some classic rock song playing. All at once she felt like crying. There was no way it wasn’t Richie. His hair was grown out and more curly, but she just knew, instinctively it was him.

“RICHIE TOZIER?” Bev yelled, not even thinking.

“Fuck,” Richie yelled. He turned around and jumped off the bed. “MOLLY RINGWALD?”

“Is it? Are you really Richie?” Bev said, much more hesitant than before.

Richie leaned against the wardrobe and smirked. “I can be anyone you want darling.”

Bev lurched forward, throwing her arms around Richie as she let her soda fall to the ground. It took a second for Richie to react, but it wasn’t what Bev expected. He tensed under her hug, not saying anything or moving. She dropped her arms, stepping back.

“You don’t know who I am do you?” Bev looked Richie in the eye and saw a stranger looking back.

\- - Richie - -

“Thank you, really mom.” Richie had spent the last thirty minutes convincing his mother to leave. “But you need to start the drive home. Dad has to get back to work.”

She huffed. Over the last few years they’d gotten really close and he knew it’d be hard that he was gone. Richie gave her a hug. As much as he didn’t want them to leave, he knew that they had a few days of driving and his dad was anxious to go.

“I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you too mom. And I promise, I’ll call you all the time and will eat healthy and get enough sleep and-”

“And stop wearing those god-awful Hawaiian shirts?” She interrupted.

“Go,” Richie laughed, pointing at door.

After his parents left, he looked at his dorm room. Half his boxes were unpacked. He dropped on his bed, wishing he hadn’t told his mom he’d stop smoking. This is what he needed though. A change. Maybe he’d start getting some of his memories back from before the accident that weren’t of his family.

He turned on a classic rock playlist and then continued to unpack. Part of him didn’t want to because he had nothing to do all weekend. Since classes weren’t starting until Monday and he didn’t know anyone on the East Coast, the next few days were going to be incredibly boring. At the very least he could unpack a few boxes. 

He grabbed one of the posers he'd brought and some tape before standing on his bed. It was the first poster Richie had ever gotten. He just wished he remembered how he got the poster. He soothed it over, feeling like something good was going to happen soon.

“RICHIE TOZIER?” Someone shouted.

“Fuck,” he practically screeched. His hand flew to his chest and he tried to calm his breathing. He turned, jumping off the bed. The person who yelled had short red hair and was really pretty. “MOLLY RINGWALD?”

The girl looked in shock, scanning Richie over like he was a mirage. “Is it? Are you really Richie?”

He leaned against his wardrobe. “I can be anyone you want darling.”

The girl threw her arms around Richie. It took him half a second to realize what was happening. She knew him from before the accident. Shit. His mom tried to prepare him for this. He knew it was a possibility, he just didn’t think he’d run into him the first day. She must have sensed the shift in his attitude because she stepped back.

“You don’t know who I am do you?” Richie would never forget the look she gave him. It was heart breaking. “Alright, well, I’m Bev.” She stuck her hand out.

\- - -

“So, you don’t remember anything?” Bev asked. She was sitting in his desk chair, feet propped up on the bed. “Like about Derry?”

“A couple of things about my parents, but not much.”

“I need a cigarette.”

Richie laughed, leaning back. He could see why they’d been friends before. She’d been in his room for about ten minutes and he couldn’t believe how amazing she was. Apart from her telling him his Molly Ringwald reference was too outdated.

“The losers are going to freak when they find out.”

“I’m sorry the what?”

“Oh, the losers. That’s what we call ourselves. The Losers Club.”

Richie felt his stomach turn. He knew the feeling. Whenever he had a sudden memory, nausea hit him. He bolted to the bathroom, almost knocking Bev’s chair over when he did. He wrenched the bathroom door open, his knees slamming on the tile as soon as it was open.

_\- - - _

_“What happened to you?” Richie asked the kid running through the river towards them. _

_“Bowers,” was the only thing he said. _

_He was covered in dirt. His stomach was bleeding and starting to stain his shirt. Eddie jumped behind Richie. He grasped his elbow, peeking around Richie. Stan stumbled backwards, also trying to get away from the bleeding kid. _

_“W-w-what did you d-do to him?” _

_“Exist?” _

_“We’ve got to get him help. We can go to the store and get supplies. Stuff for sterilization.” _

_That’s exactly what they did. Ben, the kid who’d stumbled upon them, was lucky to have lost Bowers and the others. They probably wouldn’t be as lucky if they came across them in town. Stan and Bill were waiting outside with Ben as Richie and Eddie went into the pharmacy. Eddie currently had his arms full of what Richie was certain were unnecessary things. _

_“Eds, you’re telling me you don’t already have this in your fanny pack?” _

_“No, you dipshit. I have my inhaler and a few band-aids. Didn’t expect Bowers to take his dirty knife and carve up the new kid.” _

_“So, how are you paying for this?” _

_Eddie froze, his eyes wide. If he put all of this on his mom’s account, she wouldn’t let him leave the house for a month. Richie could see him debating a number of things, but he didn’t know what Eddie was thinking. Finally, he looked up to Richie with pleading eyes. _

_“No.” Richie shook his head. Eddie started to pout again. “No. Eddie come on. I had to mow the lawn for extra money. I was going to go to the horror movie this weekend.” _

_It didn’t matter what Richie said and they both knew it. Richie groaned, using all of his money to buy the useless things. He’d never admit it, but he’d do anything that Eddie asked. They joined the others in the alley and Eddie started to tend to Ben’s wound. _

_Richie clapped Ben’s back. “Welcome to the Losers Club, Haystack.” _

_\- - -_

Richie leaned back against the wall, wiping the back of his hand against his mouth. He sighed, trying to calm his nerves. He heard a knock on the bathroom door and turned to see it was still open. Bev popped her head in, looking nervous.

“Are you okay, Rich?”

“Yeah, sorry. This happens when I get memories back.”

“You got a memory back?” Richie nodded, standing to brush his teeth. “This may be weird, but do you want to go to lunch with us? Just think if talking for ten minutes brings a memory back, maybe you’ll have more after lunch. That’s if you want them back.”

Richie finished brushing his teeth without answering her. He splashed his face with water trying to figure out if that was a good idea. Getting his memories back was one thing but having lunch with a group of people that knew all about his history, when he didn’t know them? That was something else entirely.

“Listen, I’m not pressuring you at all. I’ll even text them to see if it’s okay that you come.”

Ten minutes later they were standing outside of their dorm. Richie was catching Bev up on the last five years of his life. He was learning more about her and the others as well. He couldn’t wait to meet the other five losers as she called them. It certainly sounded like an eclectic group of people.

“So are Mike and Eddie soulmates? Because that would have been really convenient for the group.”

Bev hesitate to answer, looking at Richie with a sad smile before shaking her head. Richie was about to ask her what was going on when he felt someone run into him. Well it was more like someone was trying to tackle him. He stumbled forward trying to catch his footing.

“Bill,” Bev yelled. “Bill, calm down. He doesn’t remember you.”

Richie felt the guy drop his arms. He turned around and saw Bill and who he assumed was Stan. He recognized them from his memory from earlier, but apart from that, nothing. They introduced themselves and luckily Richie didn’t have to go through the same conversation he’d had with Bev because Bev was waving at two people exiting the dorm.

The first guy stopped in his tracks when he saw them. It had to be Ben from his memory, but he’d lost a lot of weight. The second guy who ran into him had to be Mike. He was the only one besides Bev who hadn’t been in the memory.

“Please tell me your friend Eddie is ugly because I don’t think I can handle another beautiful person walking out that door. I’m not going to be able to look in the mirror as it is.”

They others laughed, but Mike’s seemed forced, like Richie's comment reminded him of something before. Just like before Ben and Mike properly introduce themselves. Richie expected it to be weird but talking to the group felt natural. It made him wish he could remember the times before.

The door opened again, and the others waved. Richie couldn’t move, he felt like he’d forgotten how to breathe. The guy looked frazzled, running a hand through his hair. For the first time since he left Derry, Richie honestly felt like he’d missed out on something.

“Shit, you must be Eddie!” He yelled. “Where have you been my whole life, damn.”

Eddie stopped in his tracks, eyes moving up and down Richie. He rushed forward and Richie expected him to give him a hug like Bill and Bev had. What he didn’t expect was for Eddie to punch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I had to have a mini Stan freak-out. It's my weakness.


	9. Memories: Good or Bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie starts to getting some of his memories back, but maybe that isn't a good thing.

\- - Eddie - -

“Fuck!” Richie yelled, lifting a hand to his face.

“Screw you, Tozier.”

Eddie went to swing again when he felt Mike’s arm wrap around him. He pulled a struggling Eddie away from Richie. He didn’t even want to look at Richie at this point. Why the hell did Bev think this was a good idea? Did she think it was funny?

He was going to be sick. The universe just really hated him. Eddie shoved at Mike, not even caring about Richie anymore. So, Richie broke his heart? What did that matter now? This wasn’t the Richie he knew. It wasn’t the Richie he loved.

“Eddie, sweetie, he doesn’t remember.”

“You know what, Bev? I’m just going to go back inside. I don’t want to ruin your lunch.”

“That might be the best idea you’ve ever had.” Eddie glared at Richie, hoping he’d leave already.

“Get in the car, all of you.” Bev snapped pointing at the car. Richie and Eddie started to protest. “GET IN THE CAR!”

Everyone started to get into Bill’s car. Bev caught Eddie’s arm, pulling him back. She waited until everyone was in the car, before turning Eddie around. He folded his arms, trying to look intimidating. Which was hard because Bev looked pissed.

“What is your problem?”

“Seriously? Why would you invite him? Why would you do this to me?”

“This isn’t about you Eddie. We all lost a friend five years ago. I spent five minutes with him, and he started to get his memories back. I’m sorry this is hard, but sometimes that’s life. He’s going to lunch with us and you’re going to be decent, got it?”

Bev didn’t wait for an answer before going to the other side of the car. She got in, sitting on Ben’s lap when she did. Eddie huffed, based on everyone’s expressions they’d heard what Bev had said. Richie looked extremely uncomfortable. He was staring into the head rest in front of him. If Bev said they had to get along, Eddie might as well and try to make Richie as uncomfortable as possible.

He opened the door closest to Richie. Richie started to slide over so there was room for Eddie. He could tell Richie was tense, like he was expecting to be punched again. The others could probably sense the tension too. Which may be why everyone was surprised when Eddie sat on Richie’s lap.

“Do you mind? I figured there be more space,” Eddie said innocently.

Richie cleared his throat. “Ah, no, no it’s fine.” He was trying to figure out what to do with his hands when eventually, he set them down next to his legs, gripping the edge of the seat.

“Eddie,” Bev said a silent warning in her voice.

Eddie smiled at her, shrugging. Richie seemed to become less tense the longer they were in the car. It was like they were getting to know each other all over again. He’d been wrong. It was still the same Richie, just a Richie that didn’t know him.

“Where is this restaurant? Maine?” Mike asked, leaning forward to look at Bill.

“Well, actually, we’re not going straight there,” Bev murmured. She caught Bill’s eyes in the rearview mirror before continuing. “There’s this old abandoned house outside of town that someone told me about.”

“Hell no,” Eddie said. “Last time that did not end well.”

“What, are you afraid it’s going to be scary and you’ll be jumping into my arms only to realize you love me and want to sleep with me?”

“In your dreams Trashmouth,” Eddie snapped, the nickname slipping out easily.

He felt Richie go tense, his hands gripping Eddie’s hips. What was going on? He looked at the others who seemed to sense the change. Bev’s eyes widen, but in an excited way. There was silence for a moment then Richie relaxed. His arms snaked around Eddie’s waist, pulling Eddie closer. He rested his head against his back, breathing deeply.

“Richie?”

“Sorry, trying not to vomit,” Richie murmured.

Eddie tried to scramble away from him but was pulled back by Richie’s embrace. If Richie threw up on him, he was going to lose it. Then he felt, more so than heard, Richie’s low laugh. He leaned back as the laugh became louder.

“I haven’t been called that in years.”

Richie filled them in on the memory he’d relived. It wasn’t anything special, just the first time someone actually called him Trashmouth. They’d been at Bill’s when Richie said something crude and Stan yelled the name from the opposite side of the room. Eddie had even forgotten the day.

“Maybe going to the old house will bring back some memories of the Neibolt house or something,” Ben said, a bit too much excitement in his voice.

“Yeah, and maybe we can break Eddie’s other arm this time,” Stan said sarcastically.

“I think by we; you mean Richie.”

\- - Richie - -

“Can I just voice my concerns one more time? I mean the disease, the fact that someone could be in there, the lack of structural integrity.”

The others laughed, looking around before sliding through the basement window. The house was far enough in the woods that there wasn’t anything else around for at least a mile. Richie helped Bev through the window before looking around.

There was a thin layer of water on the floor. Eddie was already standing on the stairs, complaining about infections. Richie smiled, hoping that the anger Eddie felt would disappear soon. He wanted to spend more time with him.

They broke off and Richie ended up in an upstairs room with Eddie. He didn’t know what to say, but Eddie wasn’t making an effort to speak either. Richie shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes scanning the room before landing on Eddie.

“Can I ask what I did?” Eddie hummed, turning to look at Richie. “It must have been pretty shitty for you to punch me on sight.”

“No.”

Eddie shrugged before moving to leave the room. He was about to step on a weak spot on the floor that Richie had noticed earlier. He rushed forward, an arm wrapping around Eddie’s waist. He pulled him back, as part of the floor fell through onto the kitchen table below. Eddie gasped, looking at the hole in the floor. Richie scrambled away from him, feeling sick.

\- - -

_“EDDIE!” Richie screamed. He could see him on the broken table in the Neibolt house’s kitchen._

_Eddie didn’t move. It looked like he was struggling to breathe. Richie bolted, racing to get to the kitchen. Mike was saying something, but Eddie wasn’t responding. This was his fault. He told Eddie to go inside the house. _

_He pushed past Stan, Bev, and Ben, keeling next to Eddie. Richie turned his face, so Eddie was looking at him. Eddie looked like he was going to pass out. He had to do something. Something to help Eddie. He glanced down and saw Eddie holding his clearly broken arm. _

_“Look at me Eddie.” Eddie blinked. He looked like he was trying to understand Richie. “Eds, look at me. Stay with me. I’m going to snap it back into place.” _

_If Eddie wasn’t on the brink of unconsciousness. He probably would have pushed Richie away, fought against him. He couldn’t though, so he just yelled in response. “DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME.” Richie grabbed his arm and tried to fix his broken arm. Eddie’s scream echoed through the house before he passed out. _

_“We have to get him out of here,” Richie said to no one in particular. _

_He slid his arm under Eddie’s legs and back, picking him up. Eddie went limp in his hold and that scared Richie more than he would ever admit. He carried him out the front door, ignoring the others yelling at him. He had to get Eddie to the hospital. He could carry him there. It was only a few miles._

_“Richie, stop,” Mike said catching up to him. “We can call the police. You’re not going to carry Eddie to the hospital.” _

_He looked at the unconscious boy in his arms, regret washing over him._

\- - -

Richie struggled not to vomit. Finally, his stomach calmed down enough that he could stand. He slumped against the door frame. Eddie was still sitting on the floor where Richie had tackled him. The amount of concern on his face was reassuring.

But Richie still felt regret, still felt pained by the memory. Richie couldn’t remember a time that he cared that much about someone. The amount of concern he’d felt was too much. What other memories would surface and how painful would they be?

“Richie?” Eddie said softly. He moved closer, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? Did you remember something.”

“I broke your arm,” Richie whispered. “I could have killed you.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed. “That wasn’t your fault. I was the one who wasn’t watching out. Just like today.”

Richie shook his head, pushing Eddie’s hand off his shoulder. He stood up, backing into the hall. This was too much. The most memories he’d ever gotten in a week was two, he’d already had three today. These memories were hard too. They weren’t like the ones he got back of his family.

He was pacing in the basement. Water drenching his shoes. He cursed under his breath, running his hand through his hair. Maybe this was a bad idea. He should bail after this, before lunch. Just cut out the losers completely. It was easier. He was fine not remembering.

But then he looked up and saw Eddie standing on the stairs and realized that wasn’t true. Richie barely knew anything about him, but all he wanted was to find out. Painful memories or not, the guy standing in front of him, too afraid to step in some water, was special.


	10. First Night at University

\- - Eddie - -

Lunch had gone fine. Richie didn’t get any memories back, but it was nice seeing him again. Eddie wanted to hate him, he did. It was hard though. Whenever Richie laughed or even stood close to him, Eddie felt warm, happy.

It was the few hours between lunch and when they were meeting at Bill’s hotel room that Eddie realized it was a mistake. He couldn’t just be friends with Richie. The guy broke his heart and he didn’t even know it. Not to mention he was a huge flirt. He was probably just being nice to Eddie.

Eddie would be civil, for the other’s sakes, but he wasn’t going to be friends with him. Eddie laid on his bed thinking of the day of Richie’s accident. The anger on his face when Eddie told him his birthday plans. The complete distrust. Then in the hospital when he looked at Eddie like a stranger. He wasn’t going through something like that again.

Later they were hanging out in the hotel. They’d all decided to hang out there that night, especially since they wouldn’t be able to drink in their dorm rooms. Maybe it was the amount of people or the alcohol, but Eddie felt like the room was sweltering. He pulled of his sweater, tossing it onto the bed. Everyone froze, staring at him.

“Guys, it’s just my arms. It’s not like I’m taking my pants off too.”

“Um, Eddie,” Ben said. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Tell you what? That I was warm? Next time I’ll be sure to inform you.”

“No, that you met them.”

Eddie looked at them, unsure what Bev meant. Then it hit him, the tattoo. He lifted his arm in surprise. The chain soulmate tattoo was now a silver that looked blue when the light hit it. Eddie couldn’t look away. How did he not know he met his soulmate?

“I don’t know who it is! Do you know how many people I met today?” Eddie scrambled to stand up.

He started pacing around the room, trying to think of a moment where his tattoo might have changed. This couldn’t be happening. He never wanted to meet his soulmate. He didn’t believe in them. Now though? Now he wanted to meet them. Just to know who it was.

That might not be possible though. Eddie grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor and just started drinking it straight. Bev bolted from the bed, ripping the bottle from his grasp. He had the worst luck. It was like the universe just wanted him to fail.

“Eddie, it’s okay. You didn’t want to meet them, anyways right?”

“No, but now that I can’t. I always thought that if I changed my mind, I could, you know,” Eddie trailed off, not sure how to finish. “Could this day get any worse?”

The door opened. Bill and Mike reentered with Richie behind them. He was holding a twelve pack and a bottle of liquor. Eddie’s heart dropped. Bill and Mike looked around, confused by the tension in the room. Their eyes fell to Eddie’s tattoo.

“Is this some sick joke?” Eddie snapped. He grabbed the bottle from Bev’s hand. “I need some air.” He pushed passed the three in the doorway to go outside.

Ben and Bill followed him out, but he heard Richie say, “Are you more wine people then?”

Eddie took another swig from the bottle, sliding against the door to the floor. Neither Bill nor Ben spoke. They probably didn’t know what to say. Hell, Eddie wouldn’t either if their situations were reversed. Bill took the bottle and drank some. Eddie was just glad they were there.

Eventually they went back inside. Eddie didn’t feel present though. He was doing his best to avoid Richie. He knew that conversation wasn’t going to end well. The problem with that was that every time Richie tried to talk to him, he would get up and get something to drink. By the end of the night, Eddie was giggling on the bed with Bev about something.

“Well I think we’re going to head out,” Ben laughed, looking at Bev. “We’ll see you in the morning for breakfast?”

“I’ll join you,” Mike said, standing up.

The three of them left, leaving a weird silence in the room. Bill and Richie were on the porch, probably smoking. Stan sat down next to Eddie on the bed. He poked Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie sat up, facing him.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m great, Ssst-stan,” Eddie slurred. Maybe he was drunker than he though. “I think I’m, I’m gonna go though.”

Eddie stood up or tried to stand up. He stumbled forward, trying to stop himself from face planting. He felt someone grab his arm, pulling him up. Eddie looked up to see Richie standing there, concerned. Eddie tried to brush Richie off. He stumbled backwards, knocking a glass of the nightstand before he caught himself.

“See? I’m, I’m fine. Totally, fine.”

Eddie didn’t move though. He couldn’t bring himself to. The last thing he needed was to fall. He didn’t need Richie trying to save him again. The others were watching him, just waiting for something to happen.

“I was just going to go, why don’t we walk together?”

Eddie wanted to tell Richie to shove it, but he couldn’t. There was no way he was going to make it back to his room without help. Eddie took a deep breath, trying to walk. Richie slipped an arm around Eddie’s waist helping him to the door.

Luckily, the air sobered him up a little and he was able to step away from Richie without falling. They didn’t say anything, just the sound of the liquor bottles clanging in Richie’s backpack every once and a while. They were almost on campus when Eddie sat down on a bench. Trying to stop everything from spinning.

\- - Richie - -

Eddie was leaning forward on the bench, his face buried in his hands. Richie leaned back, looking at the sky. He’d had a good night with the Losers. He was glad that he’d agreed to go when Bev asked. It would have been nicer if Eddie hadn’t been ignoring him all night, but he assumed there was a reason. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft breeze.

Suddenly he felt a weight on him. He opened his eyes and looked at Eddie now straddling him. Richie held his breath, waiting to see what Eddie was going to do. Eddie stared at him, a look of confusion on his face, like even he didn’t know what he was going to do.

“I’ve spent the entire day debating if I wanted to hate you or hate fuck you.”

“You kind of have to hate someone to hate fuck them, right?”

Eddie takes a second, contemplating what Richie said, but he doesn’t respond to the comment. “Bev said you grew into your looks.” Richie furrowed his eyebrows. _The fuck does that mean? _“Why couldn’t you have grown up ugly? Why did you have to be so infuriatingly attractive and loveable?”

“I could say the same about you Eds.”

Eddie froze for a second and Richie thought he’d made a mistake. Eddie was going to tell him off again. Once again though, Eddie surprised him. He leaned forward and kissed Richie. _Shit._ Richie pushed on Eddie’s shoulders to stop him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

That definitely wasn’t the right thing to say. Eddie looked humiliated. He jumped up, cursing. Richie was about to say something when Eddie got the vodka bottle from his backpack and started chugging. Richie jolted forward, grabbing the bottle from his hands.

“Give it back, Richie.” Eddie stumbled forward to grab the bottle. “I don’t want to remember anything that just happened.”

Richie threw the bottle in his bag and slung it over one arm. “Hell no. You probably won’t remember it anyways. You’ll be lucky if you don’t get alcohol poisoning as it is.”

Eddie huffed, crossing his arms. Did he have to be so cute all the time? Richie sighed, waiting for Eddie to say something. He didn’t though. Eddie spun on his heels and started to storm back to their dorm. Richie rolled his eyes before following him.

The alcohol must have caught up with Eddie quicker than he expected because by the time they got to the dorm, Eddie could barely stand. His head was bobbing as he struggled to stay awake. Richie swiped his ID and did his best to help Eddie up the stairs without falling. That said, Eddie would probably have a few bruises tomorrow.

“Where’s your key, Eddie?” Eddie slumped against him without a word. Richie's phone went off a second later. Stan had texted him as if hearing his question.

**Stan Bill’s Man: ** _It looks like Eddie left his keys, phone, and wallet here. I’m assuming you’re almost back to the dorms, if you aren’t there already. Bill and I shouldn’t drive though. Sorry. _

**Richie**: _That’s okay, I’ll figure it out. _

Richie slid his phone in his pocket. Eddie barely standing on his own. He didn’t want to find an RA since Eddie was clearly drunk and he had bottles of liquor in his bag. He groaned, debating his options. He could try and wake Bev up, but there wasn’t really anything she could do.

“Hey, Eddie.” Richie nudged him awake. “Do you care about sleeping in my room?” Eddie hummed in response. “Can you walk?”

Eddie shook his head. Richie grabbed Eddie’s arms, putting them around him. Eddie instinctively tightened his grasp. Richie bent down, picking Eddie up. His heart warmed when Eddie snuggled closer to his chest. He struggled back down the stairs and to his room.

“I’ve got to unlock my door, so I’m going to put you down.”

Eddie moved his arms down, so he was hugging Richie's middle. Richie smiled, feeling content. When he unlocked the door, Eddie walked in without hesitating. He pulled off his shirt and jeans before laying in Richie’s bed.

“Yeah, make yourself at home,” Richie laughed.

Richie pulled his jeans off, but left his shirt on, not wanting Eddie to freak out in the morning. He quickly brushed his teeth before walking back into his room. Eddie looked so at peace. He shook his head, grabbing the extra pillow of his bed and the extra blanket he was glad his mom made him bring. Eddie opened his eyes, blinking.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping on the floor?” Eddie groaned, rolling as close to the wall as he could. He patted the bed next to him. “Doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

“I’m not going to sleep until you get off the floor you idiot.”

Richie tried not to laugh before climbing in the bed next to Eddie. Richie laid as close to the edge as possible, not wanting to bother Eddie. He, however, had different plans. Eddie moved closer to Richie, and arm wrapping around his waist as he curled into Richie’s side. Yeah, the night could have ended a lot worse for Richie.


	11. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie wakes up in Richie's bed with an angry Bev banging on the door.

\- - Eddie - -

Eddie wondered what time it was. There was banging on the door, which was not helping his headache. He tried to bury his face in his pillow, ignoring the sound, when he realized that there was very much a person next to him, not a pillow.

“RICHARD TOZIER ANSWER THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!” Bev yelled from the other side.

There was a groan. “What the hell do you want Marsh?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Richie threw back his blanket, standing to move towards the door. He glanced back at Eddie. Eddie felt his heart drop. He couldn’t let Bev see him here. Especially when Eddie didn’t know why he was here in the first place. Eddie grabbed the blanket pulling it over his head as he heard the door open.

“What?” Richie’s voice still sounded rough.

“Eddie’s missing.”

“And you figured he must be in my room at six in the morning?”

“Stan told me he left with you last night and Eddie didn’t have his key. Plus, I can very much see someone in your bed right now.”

Eddie held his breath; this could not be happening. He prayed Richie didn’t let her in the room. This was his nightmare coming true. He couldn’t even enjoy the disheveled sight of Richie he was so worried. Richie sighed.

“Which is why I went to the front and had them get an RA to unlock his door. I promptly put him to bed without taking advantage of him, because I am gentleman. He’s probably passed out still from all the alcohol which may be why he isn’t answering your lovely wake up call.” There was a pause. Eddie could only assume Bev was looking at the bed. “As for the person in my bed right now, that’s Alessandro, he’s Italian.” Richie continued in an Italian accent.

When did he get good at accents? Why was it so hot? “Don’t believe me? You’re welcome to meet him. Unfortunately, he’s not bi like me Bev, so you might not get very lucky.”

“Fine, but if you see Eddie, please tell him I’m worried.”

“Will do,” Richie said sarcastically.

Once Eddie heard the door close and Richie flip the lock he peaked out from under the blanket. Richie looked at him and shrugged. Eddie sat up, the blanket falling to his waist when he realized that he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Since when can you do accents?”

“Why, do you like it?” Richie said suggestively, using the accent again.

Eddie scoffed, not answering the question, he didn’t need to enable him. “Why am I not wearing a shirt?”

“I tried to take you to your room last night, but you didn’t have your keys. Rather than get in trouble with the RA for your drunk ass, I brought you back here. You striped and got in my bed then refused to go to sleep until I was next to you.”

Eddie looked at him, trying to figure out if he was lying, but it didn’t seem like he was. Then his memories started to come back. His felt a blush hit his cheeks. Did he really try to hit on Richie last night? Did Richie really…

“Oh my god.” Eddie bulleted from the bed looking for his clothes. “I can’t believe I hit on you.”

“Yeah if that was you hitting on me, you need to work on your game.”

“You turned me down, that’s might be the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever heard.”

Richie grabbed his arm, stop him in his tracks. “Despite what you may think of me, I wouldn’t sleep with anyone as drunk as you were. But since you’re sober now,” Richie trailed off, punctuating the unfinished sentence with a wink.

Eddie was about to answer when he heard a knocking on the door again. “TOZIER! I talked to the RA they said they no one let Eddie into his room.”

Eddie looked at Richie, pleading. “Bathroom, go,” Richie whispered and threw Eddie’s clothes at him. “Turn the shower on and just follow my lead.”

Eddie nodded, doing exactly that. He turned the shower on and sank to the floor next to it. Why did he have to get so drunk last night? This wasn’t going to end well. He should have known from the minute Richie showed up at the hotel something was going to go wrong.

“Alessandro in the shower?” Bev said with bitter sarcasm.

“Yeah, but I was just about to join him.”

“Bullshit.”

The bathroom door opened, and Eddie pulled his legs tighter to his chest. “You can check if you’d like. He’s a pretty impressive guy.” Eddie could hear the smirk in Richie’s voice. Then Richie started speaking again, except he had no idea what he was saying. Was that? Italian?

Richie stopped, but it sounded like a question. Eddie didn’t know Italian. “Si, bello,” Eddie said in his best attempt at an Italian accent. He hoped that was word for yes in Italian, not that Bev knew the language.

“Shut the door,” Bev snapped, “sorry, I’m just, I’m freaking out, okay?”

“Do you want me to help you look for him? Don’t worry, I’m sure Alessandro can let himself out just fine. Right, Alessandro?”

“Si,” Eddie yelled again, hoping Bev didn’t recognize his voice through the horrible accent.

There was some movement on the other side of the door, probably Richie getting dressed. Then he heard his door open and close. He waited a few minutes, listening to the silence to make sure they were gone. He shut the water off and peaked his head out. The room was empty.

Eddie pulled his clothes on before walking out of Richie’s room. He figured Richie would be keeping Bev far away from there, so he didn’t have to worry about running into her. If he happened to run into her in the hall, he’d just say he left his room last night and wandered around campus.

“Eddie?”

Eddie whipped around, seeing Ben standing there. Ben glanced at the door decal, reading Riche’s name. They stood in silence as Eddie tried to figure out an explanation. Ben must have seen him walk out of the room. Eddie had nothing.

“Come on, Bev or I will have a shirt that fits you until you get your keys back,” Ben said. He nodded towards the stairs.

“Ben, let me explain.”

“That’s okay, Eddie. I won’t tell Bev; she’ll just freak out.” Ben stopped and looked at him. “But can you do me a favor? Don’t shut everyone out. If you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

Eddie nodded. He was lucky to have Ben in his life and he was glad Ben could see he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. He didn’t even know what happened really. He walked with Ben to Bev’s room in silence. When they got there, Ben pulled out a few of Bev’s larger t-shirts. He pulled one on and grabbed an old button-up she’d stolen from Mike. They were waiting for Bev to get back before going to meet the others for breakfast. Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about the night before and what he was going to say to Bev.

“EDDIE?” Bev yelled throwing open the door. She threw her arms around him, tackling him to the bed. “I was so worried. Where did you go? Are those my clothes?”

“Bev, he’s fine. Let him breath,” Ben laughed.

Eddie sat up, he noticed Richie was leaning against the door, eyes racking over Eddie. His hair was still a mess, but it was infuriating how he pulled it off. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, showing off part of his tattoo. Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about the Italian accent. Richie smirked and winked at Eddie. He was screwed.

Bev cleared her throat. “Sorry, sorry. Yeah, last night’s kind of a blur. Richie dropped me off at my room and said he was going to find an RA, but I must have bolted when he left. I just kind of remember walking around the halls and Ben finding me.”

Bev gave him a skeptical look but luckily dropped it. Eddie looked up and caught Richie’s eyes, but he couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. This year was going to be interesting.

\- - Richie - -

They were sitting around the table at a small diner eating breakfast. Ben was telling them about his eventful evening. Apparently, Bev and Mike had been yelling at every person they passed to show them their arms, trying to see if they had Eddie’s tattoo.

“I was not as bad as Bev, what did you say to that guy who wouldn’t show you?”

“She said,” Ben started before imitating Bev, “you’re a total asshole. My friend met his soulmate yesterday but doesn’t know who it is. Just show us your fucking arm.” Bev shoved his shoulder as she laughed. “Not to mention she started banging on every door in the dorm trying to wake people up and see their arms.”

“That would have been one hell of a first impression with my soulmate, Bev. But seriously, I decided I don’t want to know. I freaked out a bit last night, but don’t look for them. I mean it.”

Bev rolled her eyes and Richie had a feeling she wasn’t going to respect Eddie’s wishes. “Speaking of things that happened last night. Richie, why do you know Italian?”

Richie laughed, a look of surprise on everyone’s faces. “We had an Italian exchange student in high school that I was trying to impress. After she left, I decided to keep learning.” Richie shrugged like it was no big deal.

“How’d you figure out he knows Italian?”

“He had an Italian guy in his room last night. Called him bello. Which, if I’m not mistaken means handsome.”

“You really found the one person from Italy that doesn’t know Italian,” Stan deadpanned.

Richie put his hand over his heart and pretended to be offended. “You really found someone to come back to your room after you got home last night?” Bill laughed.

Richie took a sip of his coffee. “A true gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell good Billiam.”

“Something tells me you’re not a gentleman.”

“You’re right, but the guy I was with is. Emphasis on the man. If you’d like me to elaborate, I can. Trust me, when I say man, I mean-”

“BEEP BEEP RICHIE,” everyone except Eddie yelled. Eddie just threw a chunk of his toast at him. Richie didn’t notice though, as felt his stomach churning.

_\- - -_

_Stan was sitting on the floor, trying to fix the T.V. Flipping Eddie Kaspbrak. He didn’t even know how infuriating he was. Just sitting there talking to Mike about a show they watched. Why did he have to agree to go out with Don. Obviously, they were meant to be together. Why did he have to fall for someone as oblivious as Eddie. _

_“Stan, what will you do if Richie’s your soulmate?” Eddie asked. He watched Stan grimace before rolling his eyes. _

_“Stanley. When will you stop resisting it? One day you will no longer be Stan the Man, but Stan my Man.” _

_Stan gave him a dirty look but didn’t say anything else. Richie didn’t need to look at the clock to know it was midnight. Stan tensed. They waited. He looked like he didn’t want to admit he’d gotten his tattoo, or least show them what it was. That was only partially true. Stan didn’t want Bill to see the tattoo. _

_Stan took a deep breath before he took off his shirt and folded it. Of course, he would fold it, that was just how Stan was. No one spoke. No one knew what to say. It was the same feather tattoo as Bill. Why Bill ever thought it represented Audra was ridiculous. He’d always been in denial of his feelings for Stan, but he was definitely being obtuse with that tattoo. _

_“Holy shit,” Richie said, trying to break the tension. _

_“No. That can’t be possible. Stan can’t be my soulmate.” _

_Stan turned around, making eye contact with each of the wide-eyed losers. They didn’t know what to say. Especially after Bill’s ever so thoughtful comment. He let out a shaky breath before looking at Bill. They all knew what was going to happen. _

_Suddenly the black tattoo on Stan’s back started changing colors. It turned into a blue jay feather. One side remained black. The blue stripes on the other half were the exact color of Bill’s eyes. Bev said it best when she said it was beautiful._

_Realization washed over Stan and the next thing they knew he was racing up the stairs. It took Bill about five seconds to make the same realization. He bolted up the stairs after him. They heard him knocking on the door, asking Stan to open the door. _

_Eddie leaned against him, not making eye contact when he spoke. “What would you do if one of the losers was your soulmate?” _

_“Not possible,” Richie answered. He couldn’t let Eddie know, not until he got his tattoo. His tattoo that would match Richie’s. “I know for certain none of you are my soulmates. Let’s face it Ben and Bev are. And you and Mike aren’t going to be mine. If some reason you are, I’ll probably take the same path as my parents.” _

_Eddie didn’t answer, but Richie could tell his answer upset him. Why though? It’s not like Eddie really cared, not now that he was dating Don. The others looked away, starting a conversation to distract from the new tension in the room. Richie stood up from the couch, rushing upstairs. He couldn’t look at Eddie, couldn’t deal with that right now. _

_He banged on Stan’s door. “Stan! STAN! Can you answer the question we’re all dying to know? Does Big Bill live up to the nickname? Come to think of it, does Stan the Man live up to his?” _

_“Beep beep Richie.” He heard the others downstairs yell as Bill laughed from Stan’s room. _

_If Bill and Stan made it through this, he could make it through whatever he was going through with Eddie. _

\- - -

Richie leaned back against the booth, sighing. Had he really thought Eddie was going to be his soulmate? He knew he cared about him, that was undeniable, even if he didn’t have any memories back. But soulmate, that was a lot. He realized the others were watching him.

“Another memory. Which reminds me, Stan the Man, you never answered my question,” Richie said, trying to break the tension. Stan looked confused, glancing at the others. “Do you and Big Bill live up to your nicknames or not?” Richie ended the question with a wink.

Stan’s cheeks burned red from embarrassment and Bill threw his head back laughing. He couldn’t miss the way Eddie looked down, not joining the others in reliving Stan’s birthday. Richie felt a lump growing in his throat but wasn’t sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know Italian, I just googled a translation.


	12. Two Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie finally realizes what his tattoo means and who is soulmate is. Richie just doesn't understand why it affects him.

\- - Eddie - -

“I’m just saying, this can’t end well,” Eddie said. “At some point, Bev’s going to make you introduce her to _Alessandro._ What are you going to do?”

Richie just watched him, hands behind his head. He smirked. “Why are you freaking out? It’s not like anything has ever happened between us except that one drunken kiss. Besides, what am I supposed to do when you refuse to go to your room after we go out drinking?”

Eddie curled into Richie’s side. He was right. Every single time Bev dragged them out to a bar or club, he ended up in Richie’s room. Nothing ever happened because Eddie wouldn’t let it. He wasn’t going to lose Richie again just because he made too many drunken passes at him.

The last two months had been increasing difficult for Eddie though. If someone told him he’d be falling in love with Richie Tozier his first year of college, he would have laughed. Yet, here he was. Richie hadn’t changed, except for his memories. They’d been coming back though, very, very slowly.

“I was thinking,” Richie said. Eddie held back a rude comment. “And I’m going to need you to answer this honestly. Did we ever kiss before I lost my memory?” Eddie jerked away, looking up at Eddie. “Because I’d really like to try and bring those memories back.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. He’d never admit it, but they had. Back when before he started dating Don, before the tattoos. He buried his face in Richie’s side, hoping he wouldn’t see his blush. If Richie got the memory back, fine, but it would not be Eddie that helped him with it.

“Honestly though,” Richie spoke, glancing down at Eddie. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Why does Bev want to go out again?”

“No, I do, but not with Bev. With you. As in a date.”

Eddie tensed. This could not be happening. He was about to lose Richie again. After everything he’d gone through. Why couldn’t he have just hated Richie? No, he had to care about the idiot. He moved to get up. He couldn’t do this; Richie couldn’t see him break down.

“Woah, woah, calm down. It’s fine, I just thought I’d ask.” Richie stood up, looking away from Eddie, but he still saw the hurt in Richie’s eyes.

Richie pulled off his shirt, going to grab something from the wardrobe. Eddie froze and realized that in the two months since college started, he hadn’t actually seen Richie’s full tattoo. He would have known instantly if he had. He always tried to look away when he changed, but there it was. The same silver blue tattoo chain that wrapped around his own arm.

“Fuck,” Eddie said. “No, no, no, no.” Eddie scrambled out of the bed. Richie turned to him, confused. “This can’t be happening. No. It’s not possible. It can’t be.”

Eddie flew out of Richie’s room, trying to get back to his as fast as possible. He couldn’t breathe. Why had he stopped carrying around his inhaler? He heard Richie calling after him but didn’t bother stopping. The minute he got into his room, he locked the door and stumbled towards his desk. He knocked over the books and pens, trying to find his inhaler.

He leaned against the door, inhaler in hand, trying to get through the panic attack he was having. Richie was banging on the door, yelling to let him in. He heard someone yell at Richie and the knocking stopped. There was silence before his phone went off.

**Alessandro**: _Hey just forget the date thing im sorry okay? _

**Alessandro: ** _can you tell me what i did? kinda freaking out here. _

**Alessandro: ** _Eds please_

**Eddie: ** _Don’t call me that. _

Then it hit him, what the tattoo meant. The meaning he’d been trying to figure out for the last five years. Back when Richie and Eddie were ten and Bowers handcuffed them together. How had he forgotten that? He called Ben, trying to stop from shaking. Ben answered on the first ring.

“Eddie?”

“Ben, I messed up. I messed up and I don’t know what to do? I’m freaking out. I ruined everything.”

“I’m going to need you to breathe Eddie.”

“Richie’s my soulmate.” Ben didn’t respond. “And he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t remember me.”

“That can’t be possible?” Ben inhaled sharply. “Shit, you didn’t have your tattoo until after he moved. I’d forgotten.” Eddie took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say when Ben started talking. “Guess we can call off the man hunt. Bev and Mike have been doing everything in their power to find your soulmate. They must have also forgotten that you got yours after the accident.”

“Of course, I knew they wouldn’t drop it.” 

“But Eddie, you know I have to ask. How do you feel about this, about Richie being your soulmate?”

Eddie let out a choked laugh. “Like I’ve become God’s own personal punching bag? The laughingstock of the universe?”

“And if Richie got his memories back?”

Eddie fell silent, because he didn’t have an answer. It was the one thing he’d wanted for the last five years, but he couldn’t answer that simple question.

\- - Richie - -

“Eddie, Eddie. Answer the door,” Richie yelled, banging on Eddie’s door.

“Richie,” Carlton Clark, the RA said, “You gotta stop that. If Eddie doesn’t want to talk to you, he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Richie groaned, texting Eddie. He only got one text back, then radio silence the entire weekend. It was the worst weekend Richie could remember having. He shouldn’t have asked Eddie out; it was just too hard not to. He really thought Eddie would say yes.

Saturday night consisted of Richie getting way too drunk. Sunday, he spent most of the day sleeping. Monday morning, he woke up, already knowing he wasn’t going to class. He rolled over, shutting off his alarm when he saw a text from Eddie.

**The Lovely Eddie Spaghetti: ** _I can’t do this anymore. Hanging out was a mistake, and I knew that. I’m sorry. _

Richie threw his phone on his bed. He was an idiot. He turned around and punched the brick wall next to his door. He cursed and shook his hand. He grabbed the bottle of vodka from under his bed and took a few drinks.

**Richie**: _Have you ever broken your hand? _

**Mikey Boi**: _No but someone on the farm did once._

**Mikey Boi: ** _Why? _

**Richie: ** _I might have broken mine_

Mike stopped by Richie’s room on his way to class. He confirmed that Richie’s hand was not broken but scolded him for drinking. Richie waved him off, telling him he’d be fine. After he left, Richie laid on his bed knowing he would absolutely not be fine.

He didn’t hear from Eddie again for three weeks. It was the worst three weeks of his life. Richie saw him a few times when he was with Bev or Mike, but they didn’t talk. It was killing Richie. He was trying to act like he was fine. He went to the gym with Mike. He went out with Bev and was getting A’s in all his classes. But he was barely getting through the day. He wasn’t sleeping and it was only getting worse.

He was working on a project with a kid from his class. Honestly, if Richie wasn’t still hung up on Eddie, he’d probably be hitting on the guy. But Richie was and Anthony looked a little like Eddie. Just enough that Richie couldn’t stop thinking of Eddie when he was with Anthony.

“Shit,” Anthony groaned.

Richie looked over to see that Anthony’s pen had exploded. Richie tried not to laugh. It must have broken a while ago because he was covered in in. It was staining his shirt and there were smears on his face. Richie walked over to his dresser and pulled out a T-shirt he had gotten for free on campus.

“Here.” Richie tossed Anthony the shirt. “No point in getting ink all over my room.”

There was a knock on the door and Richie pulled it open at the same time Anthony was pulling off his shirt. Richie’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Eddie standing there. Eddie’s eyes drifted from Richie to the now shirtless Anthony. Eddie looked back at Richie and then bolted.

“Wait, Eddie,” Richie ran out after him.

Eddie didn’t look back though. The door to the stair way banging shut behind him. Richie ran his hand through his hair, fighting back the emotions rushing through him. He sank to the floor, leaning against the wall. Richie doubted he would ever forget the hurt in Eddie’s eyes when he saw Anthony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the name Anthony because in the book it's said that Eddie looks a little like Anthony Perkins.


	13. Back in Derry

\- - Richie - -

Richie woke up to banging on the door. Something told him it was Bev. He had half a mind to tell her to go to hell and half a mind to ignore her. He didn’t want to deal with this. She’d been trying to get him to tell her about Eddie. But Richie told her to go find out from Eddie.

“Richie,” Bev spoke softly. Richie barely heard her. “Sweetie, please unlock the door.”

Richie groaned. He unlocked the door but didn’t open it. Bev must have heard the lock because she came into the room. Richie laid back down, not bothering to talk. Bev sat on his bed, her back against the wall and legs crossing over his. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Is it a bottle of vodka?”

“No, because you need to stop drinking. I know you don’t have plans this weekend for the break. So, you’re coming back with me. And before you protest, you are going. I will not have you spending the break in a cheap hotel drinking away your sorrows.”

Richie rolled his eyes. Honestly, going home with Bev sounded way better than the thanksgiving weekend he had planned. He’d decided not to go home for the holidays because his parents were travelling. He wished the dorms were staying open, but he was going to stay in a hotel since they weren’t. Bev was right.

The last week had been hell. Every night he laid awake thinking of Eddie’s face when he saw Anthony. He’d thought things were going well. Hell, he’d been getting his memories back at an insane rate. That’d all but stopped after Eddie ran out of his room. Richie didn’t even care if he got them back anymore. What was the point if Eddie didn’t want to see him?

“We’re leaving Tuesday.” Bev crawled over Richie, walking towards the door. “9:00.”

Richie gave Bev a saluting motion and she left his room. Two days. He just had to make it through two more days, and he’d have the weekend to process things. A weekend of distractions. Maybe he’d even get some of his memories back from Derry that explained what Eddie was thinking.

Richie barely remembered anything about those two days. He was just going through the motions. He’d seen Eddie a few times in the dorms. Richie didn’t try to talk to him though. He could tell Eddie was rushing to avoid him. How could someone he only really knew for three months ruin him this much?

At 9 on Tuesday, Richie walked into the hall with his bag. Bev was leaning on the wall across from his room, texting someone. She looked up when she heard Richie’s door close. Her face lit up and she slid her phone into her back pocket.

“You ready?” She hooked her arm with his, dragging him along. Almost like she was afraid he would decide not to go. “Mike’s on his way over, we’re meeting them out front.”

“Them?”

“Yeah, Mike and Eddie?” Bev answered, not letting go of Richie’s arm.

Richie stopped walking, Bev tugging at him. He dropped his bag and glared at her. There was no way he was sitting in a car with Eddie for seven hours. He doubted Eddie even agreed to it. Bev probably didn’t tell him the situation either.

“You’re going to have to talk to him sometime. Especially if you’re friends with me and Mike. It’s been hard on us too.”

Richie took a deep breath before picking up his bag. He started moving towards the entrance and he could swear Bev was walking with more spring in her step. Mike was pulling up just as they left the building. Eddie was standing by the curb, his phone lighting up his face. All the anger and frustration from the past week melted away. He was just glad to see Eddie again.

Eddie, on the other hand, looked like he was going to punch Richie again. This could not be happening. What the hell did Richie do that made Eddie hate him so much? Bev stepped in front of Richie when she saw Eddie tense.

“He wasn’t going home, and I wasn’t leaving him here for the weekend.”

Eddie didn’t say anything. He huffed and climbed into the back seat. He didn’t look at anyone, just stared at the window. Bev shrugged, grabbing Richie’s bag before she pointed to the front seat. She threw the bags in the trunk and got in the car.

To say it was a tense ride would be an understatement. Mike eventually convinced Richie that he didn’t need him to stay up and talk to him and that he’d pull over when he started to get tired. Richie put his earbuds in and stared out the window. At some point he fell asleep. He must have been tired because he didn’t even wake up when Mike switched spots with Eddie.

He blinked awake, looking around the car. Bev was stretched out in the back, her legs on Mike’s lap. He was slouched in his seat. Both were passed out. Eddie looked pissed. His eyes didn’t leave the road when Richie resituated. Eddie's knuckles were white from gripping the wheel.

Richie swallowed, opening his mouth to speak, but Eddie beat him to it. “No. I’m not talking about it.”

“Well we’ve got what? Four more hours. You might as well talk to me.”

“Why don’t you talk to the blond with perfectly swept soft looking hair?” Eddie bit out.

Richie looked at him with surprise. “Anthony?”

“Is that his real name?”

“Yeah. He was my partner for a project.” Eddie rolled his eyes, finally looking at Richie. He didn’t believe him. “Really. He wasn’t wearing a shirt because he got ink all of his shirt. If you hadn’t been so busy staring at his _hair_ you would have seen the ink on his face and hands.”

Eddie didn’t respond. The tension rolled off him in waves. Of course, he wasn’t going to respond. He’d spent the last three weeks ignoring Richie, why would he feel the need to speak now. Richie almost wanted to ignore him too, show him that two could play this game. But the question he’d been asking for three weeks was eating him up inside.

“Why?” Richie whispered. “Why did you do it? Can you at least tell me what I did?”

“You didn’t do anything.” Eddie answered. “I just, I can’t keep pretending everything is fine when you don’t remember me. Do you know what it’s like to be in love with someone who doesn’t remember you?”

“What?” Richie snapped his head to the side. Eddie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t answer. “What did you just say?” His question was met with silence. “Fine, whatever. But do you realize that I can’t get my memories back of you, if I never see you?”

Eddie nodded. Of course, he knew. Richie turned to look out the window. He didn’t want to be in the car with Eddie anymore. He didn’t want to be going to Derry. He was starting to wish he’d gone to California. Been with Carole and Bobby. They’d help him forget about what was going on here. Or, at the very least, help distract him.

“For what it’s worth,” Richie finally spoke, “the person I’m in love with doesn’t even want to look at me.”

\- - Eddie - -

Eddie didn’t speak, he felt his stomach drop. He pulled off at the next stop. The rest stop was vacant. Bev and Mike were still passed out in the back. He scrambled out of the car, struggling to breathe. Richie didn’t say that, he couldn’t have said that. Richie got out, following Eddie to the middle of the parking lot.

There he stood. His soulmate. The guy he’d been in love with for the majority of his life. Richie didn’t remember him though. Eddie wondered if he ever would. He kicked the rock by his foot, watching it bounce across the pavement.

“How dare you?” Eddie snapped. “You don’t get to say that to me.”

“You said it to me first!”

“I didn’t mean to! This can’t happen!”

“That’s not fair.”

That hit Eddie like a ton of bricks. Of all the things that weren’t fair, this didn’t even compare. “You want to know what’s not fair. You used to text me every morning. Every. Single. Morning. Then your accident happened. But I still waited. The first thing I did every morning, still do every morning is check my phone, waiting for that text. It never comes. Do you know what that’s like? Five years of hoping that things will be okay, and they never are? Fuck you.”

“This isn’t my fault. I didn’t choose to lose my memory.”

“No, but you chose to walk away. You chose to do what you always do, run when things get hard. You could never tell me the truth about how you felt. And that night wasn’t any different. Rather than stand in the yard and yell at me, fight back, you left.”

Eddie waited, waited for Richie to remember. But he didn’t. He was just met with emptiness. Sure, Eddie knew he was hurt, but so was Eddie. They stood in silence, neither moving. Eddie heard the car door open and looked to see Mike and Bev getting out of the car. They looked between Eddie and Richie. Bev rushed to his side, giving him a hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know, I never would have…Eddie, why didn’t you tell us?”

The next few hours felt like a dream. Mike drove the rest of the way, Richie still sitting in the front. Bev had her arms wrapped around Eddie. She didn’t move, even when he fell asleep. Mike dropped him off at first. He didn’t say a word as he walked out of the car, just waved when he got to the front door. He stared at the door.

He didn’t want to go in. He just wanted to move on from this part of his life. He couldn’t escape Richie Tozier. It was almost five which meant he could probably sneak in and leave his bag. He'd be able to leave before his mom got up. But where would he go. This whole town reminded me of every painful thing. Why did he come back?


	14. Beverly and Richie

\- - Bev - -

Bev was sure Richie hadn’t slept since getting to her house. Her aunt’s apartment didn’t have an extra room and Richie was too tall to sleep on the couch. They’d ended up making a bed on the floor of Bev’s room. She’d told Richie that he could stay at any of the Losers’ houses, but he’d insisted that he was fine. Bev hadn’t slept much either.

She’d expected to be exhausted after the ride back, even with the brief nap she had. But she was wide awake when she got home. She knew that Eddie had a hard time after Richie lost his memory. She knew there were days that he’d start to spiral. She didn’t realize it was every day. Every single day he’d been waiting and everyday he got a little more hurt.

She tiptoed around Richie, walking to the kitchen. It was almost eight and her aunt had already left for work. Bev poured a cup of coffee and went to the porch to smoke. She’d done this, she was the reason that Eddie was falling apart. If she hadn’t run into Richie, if she hadn’t invited him to lunch, if she hadn’t brought him back into Eddie’s life, he might be doing better.

There was a knock on the door behind her and Richie came out. He sat next to her, running a hand through his hair. “So, I was checking flights and it looks like there’s a direct flight from Bangor to LAX that leaves tomorrow morning at four. I’m going to book it. I don’t know if there’s uber or a taxi or something that can take me there, so I thought I’d ask before booking it.”

“You’re leaving?”

Richie didn’t look at her. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Not that it’s my place, but I think you should stay.” Richie gave her an unreadable look. “Seriously. Mike and I heard you two last night. Eddie literally said that you run away when things get hard. Things are hard and you’re running.”

“Eddie doesn’t want me here.”

Bev put her cigarette out, rolling her eyes. “He does, he’s just as obstinate as you.” Bev waited for a beat. “Just this weekend. Just stay for this weekend and if you don’t get your memories back or aren’t able to get through to Eddie, I won’t push it.”

Bev got up, leaving Richie to think. She didn’t need to be out there because she knew that he wasn’t going to leave. She’d seen how he looked at Eddie last night. Richie was done running, he just needed someone to remind him why.

It wasn’t ten minutes later before Richie walked inside. He stood across from her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He looked less broken now. Like he was ready to prove Eddie wrong. That he was ready to fight.

“So, what’s the plan?”

Bev smiled. Of course, he knew she had already been planning something. “We’re going to a movie today, at the Aladdin. Ben’s going to meet us there and then you’re going to spend the evening with him. Tomorrow we’re spending thanksgiving with his family, but Bill said you could stay there Thursday night. Friday Mike’s parents invited you over and then Stan had something plan that afternoon. We’re all meeting at Stan’s on Friday night.”

“And Saturday?”

“Saturday you and Eddie are hanging out.” Richie gave her a questioning look. “Trust me, I’ll convince him. You just have to be your charming self and let the memories filter through.”

Bev handed him a cup of coffee before she left to get ready for the day. She walked into her room to find Richie using an old yo-yo. She’d forgotten she’d had it. He looked up at her, beaming with a child-like grin.

“I haven’t used one of these in years! I think it was when we went to the movies for the first time with Ben! I never could get it to sleep,” Richie had a far off look in his eyes. “You know I always thought you were really pretty.” Richie smiled. “But I was so excited to hang out with you because you were such a badass. I mean do you remember when you decked Victor Criss?”

Bev laughed. A yo-yo. A simple yo-yo and he’d gotten back a number of memories. “Of course, I do. I had those tool bags after me for like month after that.”

They walked to the movies; Bev was pointing out the different stores and telling Richie about people they passed. She could see a little spark of something. Like he was close to grasping on the memory, but it faded before he could figure out what it was.

The closer they got to the theatre; the more excited Richie seemed. Bev had forgotten how much he loved the movies. The first time they’d gone, Richie was singing as he walked down the street. She’d been sitting on a park bench eating ice cream, just watching him. He didn’t have a care in the world. She missed that Richie.

They sat in the same seats, the same seats they had sat in all those years ago when they first went to the movies. The same seats where Richie had thrown the Hawaiian punch. They were the Losers’ seats. Richie looked like he was trying not to be sick. It was another memory.

\- - Richie - -

Richie squinted as they walked out of the theatre. Bev was right, staying in Derry was a good idea. He couldn’t believe how many memories he was experiencing. Every memory that came back he felt better, lighter. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed by not having his memories.

Bev had bought him a pistachio ice cream. The same kind she’d been eating the day they went to the movie with Ben. He was running a little late and said he’d meet them at the ice cream shop once he’d saw his mom.

“So, now that you’re here and have some memories. What’s the worst part of Derry?”

“The whole damn town?”

Bev threw her head back, laughing. How many times could this have been something they did? How many times could they have gone to the movies and came here afterwards? Bev gave him a look and he knew she was thinking the same thing. She reached out and squeezed his hand. They both looked up when the bell rang.

Bev stood when she saw it was Ben. She rushed forward and he swept her into his arms. Richie saw her whispering something in his ear. Ben smiled and dropped his arms. He took one of Bev’s hands and walked back to where Richie was sitting. It was moments like this Richie wish he knew, really knew, who his soulmate was.

“How was the movie? Sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“Good, it was like we were thirteen again,” Richie laughed. “Wish you could have been there Haystack.” Ben blinked for a second before he remembered the name. “I’m glad I invited you and Bev to the same movie back then.”

“Yeah, me too Richie, me too.”


	15. Ben and Richie

They were walking towards the barrens. Ben had suggested it since it was where Richie and him and spent the most time together in the hideout. He’d forgotten how nice it was to spend time with Richie one-on-one. Yeah, he was funny and great in a group. But it was different when they were alone. Richie seemed a lot more vulnerable. Like he wasn’t trying to be the center of attention and get laugh. 

Ben knew Richie had a lot on his mind and hanging out with him might not be what he wanted to do most. Bev had told him about what happened last night on the way back. His guess was Richie wanted to be as far away from Derry as possible or he wanted to be talking to Eddie. Richie would never say that though.

“Can I ask you a question?” Richie asked, sitting down on a fallen tree. Ben hummed in response, sitting next to Richie. “Do you think it’s worse that I’m back in your lives? I mean, I feel like it’s just getting worse and worse. I just don’t see any benefits of me getting my memories back.”

Ben looked at Richie trying to figure out the right thing to say. Richie was looking down at his hands, like he was afraid to make eye contact. Probably because it was too real. He thought Ben was going to say yes, tell him there was no point and he should just leave.

“Bev wouldn’t know who I was if it weren’t for you Richie. I mean, sure we’d see each other around and maybe we’d know we were soulmates, but that wouldn’t matter. The only reason I started hanging out with the Losers is because you introduced me to them, and you introduced Bev to them.”

Richie gave him a look of disbelief. Ben didn’t know the best way to put it. He was better at writing things when he could think about what it was. Better yet, he was good at making things, building things. No people, just making the pieces fit together.

Ben sighed. “Did Mike ever tell you about the night he met his soulmate? He didn’t hang out with her. He literally gave her his number and they decided to meet the next day. Do you want to know why? Because it was your birthday and every year on your birthday we went to the movies.”

“Why?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s just what we did. Mike gave up spending time with his soulmate because soulmate or not, that day was something we did together. It was hard when you lost your memory Richie, on all of us.”

“Isn’t it harder that I’m back. That now I’m just,” Richie stopped.

“No. That day we first went to lunch, I haven’t seen everyone so relaxed. It was like we-”

“Were missing something?”

“Exactly. We were missing the other Loser.” Ben nudged Richie. “Besides, Eddie may put you through hell, but I can’t tell you how much happier he’s been since that day.”

Ben stood up. Richie looked like he still wasn’t sure about what Ben had said. Ben wasn’t quite sure why Richie asked him in the first place. He was glad, but usually people went to Mike when they needed a pick me up. They all had their thing. Bill motivated people; Bev was a reality check; Stan distracted people; Ben was there if you needed a shoulder to cry on or a hug; and Eddie was the person that was there when you needed someone to be there without any questions.

Richie followed Ben without another word. Ben had expected at bad joke to relieve some of the tension. They got to the clearing where the hideout was. Ben realized he hadn’t been out here in years. He couldn’t remember where the door was. He turned to warn Richie right when he fell through the door.

“Fuck,” Richie groaned.

Ben rushed to the edge, leaning down. Richie was lying on his back. It looked like he’d had the wind knocked out of him and he was trying to catch his breath. Ben laughed as he grabbed the edge of the opening and dropped down next to Richie. He held his hand out, helping Richie stand.

“Sorry, I forgot where the entrance was.”

“i know the feeling.” Richie brushed the dirt off himself. “I haven’t gone down that hard since I was with Eddie’s mom.” Richie held his hand up, but Ben just rolled his eyes. Five years later and Richie really wasn’t that different after all.


	16. Bill and Richie

\- - Richie - -

Richie couldn’t stop smiling. Bev was walking him to Bill’s house. They’d spent the day with Ben’s family for dinner. For a few hours, it felt like Richie hadn’t lost his memory. He’d been able to reminisce with Ben and Bev rather than listen to them tell stories. There were some memories he didn’t tell them he got back though.

Like the time Richie and Eddie were the only two in the hideout. They’d been lying in the hammock, Eddie’s head resting on his chest. Usually when they were down there, Eddie lied about the amount of time Richie had been lying in the hammock and crawled on top of him. Then he’d just kick Richie in the face for attention.

But he never did that when they were alone. Richie couldn’t remember what they were talking about. Not in the usual, _I got hit by a car and lost my memory _way, but in a normal too much time has passed way. Whatever it was, he felt _warm_, happy. That didn’t surprise Richie though. He always felt that way with Eddie.

Richie had gotten the memory back when he fell through the door of the hideout. He’d fallen asleep listening to the sound of Eddie’s steady breathing. He’d woken up when he crashed to the ground. A surprised Eddie landed on top of him. One of them must have moved in their sleep and flipped the hammock. That was a memory he didn’t feel the need to share that he got back.

That happened a lot growing up. Almost every time Richie and Eddie fell asleep next to each other, they woke up on the ground. When Richie used to sneak over to Eddie’s and stay the night, every morning they’d be lying next to Eddie’s bed. Once they’d fallen asleep on Bev’s couch and Riche woke up half hanging off the couch with Eddie’s legs tangled with his.

Richie sighed. It didn’t matter how many memories he got back. Unless he had all of them Eddie wasn’t going to stop distancing himself. Even then there had to be another reason why Eddie kept pushing Richie away. Maybe he’d get his memories back and Eddie would still give up on him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bev asked.

“I can’t figure out what I did that made Eddie hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Richie looked at Bev, not believing her. “Even if he did, I wouldn’t know why.”

Richie groaned. Of course, it couldn’t be easy. It couldn’t be something like, _oh you told Eddie he was an idiot one too many times. _Then again, Richie couldn’t remember a time he’d called Eddie an idiot. It would have been a lie.

“That’s Bill’s house,” Bev said, pointing in front of her. “I’d go in with you, but my aunt’s already waiting for me. Sorry.”

She lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave as she started walking down the sidewalk. Richie stood outside of the Denbrough’s house, trying to remember something. There was nothing, but he did hear a song from the piano drifting from the windows. The front door opened, and Bill waved Richie in.

\- - Bill - -

“Is that Georgie?” Richie ran past Bill when he saw George walk towards the stairs. “What are you like eight now?”

George rolled his eyes, glaring at Richie. “What are you like a dumbass still?”

“GEORGE!” Mrs. Denbrough’s voice came from the sitting room. “Language.”

George continued up the stairs without another word. Richie turned to Bill, grinning. “He reminds me of you.”

“Yeah, mom would say too much sometimes.”

Bill took Richie to meet, or re-meet, his parents. George even came down from his room after a while to talk to Richie. George got along better with Richie than he did with any of the other Losers. Richie seemed to relax since he knew George wasn’t thinking of Richie from before he lost his memories.

Eventually his parents went to bed and about an hour later George did too. Bev told Bill that the point of Richie spending time with each of the individually in case they’d done something in the past that wasn’t as a group that could bring all his memories back. Bill doubted that would work, but he’d try his hardest.

Which is why he was planning to go to the Neibolt house. He knew it was stupidly dangerous. Last time they’d went Eddie broke his arm, and that was during the day. But Bill and Richie had gone there on their own and so that meant they were going.

“I hope you’re not afraid of the dark.”

\- - -

“Remind me why you thought this was a good idea?” Richie asked.

The Neibolt house looked infinitely creepier. Bill couldn’t remember if he’d actually seen it at night. It almost looked like it was alive. _Breathing_, for lack of a better word. He could swear there was a light coming from the windows. Maybe they could at least scare some of Richie’s memories back.

Bill glanced at Richie. Richie looked like he was trying to act like it didn’t freak him out. Bill felt the same way. Part of him wanted to run back home as fast as he could. Something was drawing him towards the house though. He wondered if Richie felt the same thing.

Bill didn’t answer Richie, he didn’t need to. He also didn’t feel the need check that Richie was following him into the house because somehow, he knew Richie was. Richie grabbed a broken chunk of the fence. The same one he’d broken off years ago when the two of them snuck in.

“I forgot how creepy this place was,” Bill said, kicking an empty can to the side.

He hadn’t been here since Eddie broke his arm. The other kids in town had clearly spent time in the crumbling building. There was graffiti on the walls, empty cans, and even a few broken chairs. In the kitchen it looked like someone had even tried to perform a séance or something.

“Tell me that’s not your plan.” Richie pointed at the Ouija board. “I’ll do some dumb shit, but that's where I’m drawing the line.”

Bill laughed. “Not a chance in hell. We need to go to the basement.”

“Listen Bill, you’re a very handsome guy and no judgements for what you and Stan like to do in your free time, but I’m not exactly feeling it right now.”

Bill rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile. He kicked open the basement door, shining his light down there. It did little to dispel the darkness. Richie looked over his shoulder. They made eye contact for a second before looking back into the void below them. Richie cracked his neck before stepping around Bill to go downstairs.

Bill shown the light around the basement. Unlike upstairs the windows weren’t letting in any of the moonlight. Richie shown his phone’s flashlight, but it didn’t help. It looked like this was one of the few places in the house people hadn’t bothered to spend time in.

“Is that a letterman jacket?” Richie laughed, going to pick up a jacket on the floor.

A moment later he froze, and Bill knew he was remembering the time they broke into the house. The same letterman jacket had been on the floor. Except when Richie went to pick it up a dog had been underneath that tried to attack him. Richie had dropped to his knees, he looked like he was trying not to vomit.

“I’d say this adventure worked. Got a memory back?”

“I won’t lie to you Bill, I kinda wish this had been a sex thing.”


	17. Mike and Richie

“We got any big plans?” Richie asked, sitting in the kitchen at the Hanlon’s.

“Not really. I know Bev wanted us to redo some things we did as kids, but I can’t really think of much.”

Mike wish he had something planned. He and Richie didn’t spend much time alone as kids. He’d been the last one to join the Losers. There wasn’t anything specific they’d done. Gone to the diner or movies, but it’s not like they had a specific moment.

“Sorry.” Mike shrugged when he noticed Richie staring at him. “We usually spent time together with the other losers.”

“Well that’s a damn shame.”

He wasn’t wrong. Mike had always enjoyed Richie’s company. Sometimes he tried too hard to be funny, but when he was just being himself, it was nice. It didn’t feel like he was wearing a mask. If Richie had a problem, he said it. Mike always appreciated that honesty.

Mike thought about his time with Richie and realized that they’d only had one definite moment he could remember. It’d been with all the losers, but maybe just the two of them could trigger the memory. It was worth a shot.

“How do you feel about rocks being thrown at you?”

“Guess that depends on the rock?”

They were walking out towards the barrens. Richie was taking hesitant steps; probably afraid he’d fall through another hole. Mike remembered this was where he’d met the others for the first time. Afterwards he’d walked back to his house with Richie. He kicked a stone when the arrived at the water.

Mike turned around, waiting for Richie to say something. Richie walked around; hands shoved into his pockets. Mike could tell there was something different about him. Not just from his fall out with Eddie, but since he saw him at college. He looked too apathetic. The Richie he remembered was more energetic, happier. He seemed defeated, then and now.

Mike crossed to the other side, where the Bowers gang had stopped when they’d chased him here. The others had been building a dam when Mike ran over to them. Luckily, they’d been on the side with more rocks. They’d also been a bit more determined. Mike tossed a rock over and watched it bounce towards Richie’s foot.

“I think you’re supposed to get down on one knee before giving me a rock.”

“Why don’t you throw one?”

Richie rolled his eyes before picking one up. He threw it as hard as he could. Mike turned to watch it bounce of a tree behind him. He turned to see if it helped in time to see Richie scrambling towards the ground. He landed on his hands and knees, throwing up into the water. Mike crossed the stream and dropped to the ground next to him, waiting.

“You okay?” Mike asked once Richie sat down next to him.

“No,” Richie groaned. “Fuck, I feel like I’m the star of the just say no reboot.”

Mike laughed, patting Richie on the back. He stood up and stretched. “You’ll be fine.”

They walked towards the train tracks, the same path they’d taken all those years after the rock war. The same rock war Richie had just remembered. They were talking about it, laughing at Richie’s bad aim and how Stan and Bev had been the stars of the day. They sat in the car of an abandoned train once they got to the tracks.

“Richie can I ask you a question?” Richie hummed in response. “Do you even want your memories back? Not that I don’t want you to remember, but. I don’t know. Has anyone asked you?”

Richie didn’t answer right away, just stared at grass rippling from the wind. “Honestly? I don’t know. I didn’t think I did. I had a whole life without them. I was fine. But then I started getting them back and I’m not sure I was. It’s like I was missing something and didn’t know until college started. I just wish I didn’t have to go through this. Either never lost my memories or never knew what it was like before I lost them; you know?”

Mike looked at Richie and realized he knew exactly what he meant. He wasn’t sure how, but he did. Mike nodded. “I wish I had an answer to give you.”

“Yeah me too.”


	18. Stan and Richie

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m just saying, if you and Bill don’t make it.” Richie grabbed a handful the M&Ms Stan had bought for that night. “I think we’d make an amazing couple. You’ve got a decade to get comfortable with the idea.”

“I’m never going to marry you,” Stan snapped. He took the bag of M&Ms from his hand.

“Is this your way of getting my memories back?” Richie groaned, changing the topic from his proposition of if they were both unwed in ten years.

Stan glared at him before walking into the living room. Richie followed him. They’d been at Stan’s house all afternoon. After he’d gotten back from his day with Mike, Stan was supposed to do something for Richie’s memories. Personally, he felt like the whole thing was ridiculous. Richie’s memories seemed to be coming back at random. Usually when someone said something.

“Stannnnnnnnleeeeey.” Richie dropped on the couch. He certainly was making himself at home. “They say when boys are mean it’s because they like the other person.”

“What do they say about boys who stab people?”

Stan watched Richie laughing and fought the urge to smile. He’d never admit it to him, but he missed having Richie around. Of the other Losers, Stan had spent most of the time with Richie. Maybe it was because neither felt the need to apologize, despite their rude comments. Maybe it was because they both knew what it was like to love someone and not know how to say it.

“What if Bill dies?” Stan huffed a sigh before dropping to the ground, not answering. “Fine, one kiss and we’ll know if the chemistry is real, darling. We do have that delightful sexual tension.”

Richie slid down to the ground, moving closer to Stan. Stan just continued to glare at him. Maybe he didn’t miss Richie as much as he thought. Richie stared at Stan as if he was challenging him. He laughed again, leaning away.

“I missed you, Stan. I haven’t had a friend to mess with that takes me this seriously since I moved.” Richie looked around. “Are you sure there’s nothing we’ve done that would bring back my memories?”

“You mean besides get drunk, make out, and prank call the other losers?”

Richie’s eyes widened in shock. It was just as easy to mess with Richie as he thought it was easy to mess with Stan. Especially since Richie wasn’t used to Stan’s deadpan humor. He could see Richie was trying to process if he was being serious. Stan rolled his eyes and stood up when he heard the doorbell ring.

“I’m kidding Richie. I never drunk dial people.”

Richie cough out a surprised laugh. Richie shook is head, finally deciding that Stan was messing with him. He opened the door to let in Bill. Stan followed Bill into the kitchen, who dropped a bag of snacks on the counter. He wrapped his arms around Bill, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Bill!” He heard Richie yell from the living room. “If you and Stan break up and you’re single when you’re thirty, will you marry me?”

“Sure, why not?” Bill answered.

Stan groaned, dropping his arms to stare at Bill. Bill laughed, knowing Stan was about to tell him not to encourage Richie when the bell rang. Stan left him to go let in whoever it was. Richie walked past him to go talk to Bill.

“How about this, if you and Stan are still together when you’re thirty,”

“BEEP BEEP RICHIE,” Stan yelled as he opened the door.

“What’d he do this time?” Bev asked, walking past Stan.

Ben followed her, carrying pizza. She hopped on the counter, opening one of the two liters she’d carried in. She gestured for Bill to get her a cup, which he did without thinking. Stan smiled at he routine of it. Bill and Richie were discussing Richie’s earlier proposal as Bev tried to catch up. Ben grabbed a slice of the pizza as he draped an arm around Bev’s waist. It was weird how naturally they settled into Richie being there. It was almost like he’d never left.

Even after Eddie and Mike arrived, it wasn’t awkward. There was a moment of tension when Eddie first saw Richie, but he mellowed out after a beer. Bev and Ben were curled up on the chair talking about music. Richie and Bill were in the middle of an argument. One that Eddie and Mike were laughing about. Stan leaned against Bill’s legs; happy they were all together again.


	19. Eddie and Richie

If someone had told him he’d be drinking at Stan Uris’s house when his parents were out of town, Richie never would have believed them. He’d learned over the last few months that Eddie and Bev were both lightweights. They were currently looking up cat videos on Stan’s laptop.

He also knew Mike wasn’t much of a drinker. He’d have a few drinks, just enough to loosen up and talk about other people’s interests. Richie quickly learned the guy liked to learn, no matter what the topic was.

He hadn’t spent much time with the others, but it wasn’t hard to figure them out. Stan wasn’t a lightweight, at all. But when he drank enough, he was a lot more affectionate. For the last hour, he’d had his arms wrapped around Bill’s waist, just hugging him. Wherever Bill went Stan followed. He also kept going on passionate rants about why he loved everyone.

He knew from Bev that Ben didn’t typically drink. He might have a beer, but unless he was surrounded by people he knew, he didn’t like to drink. Richie couldn’t stop smiling at the drunk Ben though. He was excited about everything people told him. He couldn’t stop laughing either. Honestly, he was acting like a puppy.

Richie was confident that if given the chance, Bill would do some stupid things well drinking. He’d probably be the epitome of _here hold my beer. _Which was exactly how Richie was. He was glad none of them were angry drunks.

“We should play a game!” Eddie yelled, jumping up.

“Truth or dare!” Bev joined Eddie.

“No,” Stan groaned. “We already know about each other. Plus, Richie’s probably going to dare me to make out with him and I don’t want to do that.”

“I’m kissing someone by the end of the night.”

Bill untangled himself from Stan’s arms as he walked to the kitchen. Stan fell to the couch, too tired to realize what he was doing. Stan wrapped one arm around Richie while resting his head on Richie’s chest. Bev and Eddie were waiting for them to start a game.

“Never have I ever?” Eddie suggested.

“Spin the bottle?” Bev said.

“Paranoia,” Stan mumbled.

Five minutes later they were all sitting in a circle. Stan’s head was rested on Bill’s shoulder. Eddie and Bev were arguing over who got to go first. It didn’t matter, Bev suddenly whispered something in Eddie’s ear. His shoulders stiffened and he glared at Bev.

“That’s not fair.” Eddie pouted. Bev just smirked. “Fine, Richie.”

Richie stared at Eddie for a second, debating if he should drink. Eddie was slightly blushing and refusing to make eye contact with Richie. He’d wait until next time Eddie said his name. He could tell Bev wasn’t going to let it go.

“If you had to be soulmates with anyone besides Bill, who would it be.”

Stan didn’t answer right way. “Mike.”

They continued around the circle. Nobody drinking to figure out the question. Richie could tell that they were progressively asking more intense questions because everyone was taking longer to answer and looking more embarrassed.

“Richie,” Eddie grumbled, blushing more than he had the entire game.

Richie lifted his bottle as if to cheers Eddie before he started drinking. He continued to make eye contact until Bev told him to stop. Everyone waited for Eddie to reveal the question. Suddenly Eddie stood up, almost knocking his drink over in the process.

“I quit. I need some air.”

“BOOOO!” Bev yelled throwing popcorn at Eddie.

She looked ready to pass out at any second. Mike had fallen asleep on the floor twenty minutes earlier. They’d given him a pillow and thrown a blanket over him. Stanley hadn’t opened his eyes in the last fifteen minutes. He was answering questions and responding to other people’s comments, but any second that would have stopped. Eddie bolted out the front door.

“Come on,” Bill said, standing. He held his hands out to Stan. “I’m not going to carry you. You’ve got to walk.” Stan grumbled something as Bill lead him upstairs. “Good night, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll check on Eddie,” Richie said, picking up a few of the abandoned bottles.

Ben picked Bev up, setting her down on the recliner. He gathered up the remaining bottles and cups and carried them to the kitchen. Richie followed Eddie outside. He was sitting on the porch, head hung breathing slowly. Richie sat next to him on the stairs, not saying anything.

“You came out to hear the question, didn’t you?”

“No. Bev probably asked you who the sexiest person in the group was. Anyone would have said me,” Richie nudged Eddie’s arm.

Eddie looked at Richie, but Richie had no idea what he was thinking. Eddie looked away, leaning against Richie. They were silent, just enjoying the moment. It wasn’t until Eddie fell asleep that Richie moved. He picked him up, wondering if this is what was going to happen every time Eddie drank. Ben was asleep next to Bev in the recliner. Richie was about to lay on the floor next to the couch, when Eddie grabbed his hand and pulled him towards him.

“I’m sorry,” was all Eddie said when Richie laid next to him.

\- - -

Richie was the first one up the next day. Just like the last time he’d fallen asleep at Stan’s, he was half hanging off the couch. He was careful not to let Eddie fall. He walked into the kitchen wondering where Stan’s family kept the coffee. A moment later Stan walked inside carrying a cup carrier.

“I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked. I hope black is fine.”

Stan set the carrier down and handed Richie a cup. Richie thanked him and took a sip. Stan didn’t look up when Bev walked into the kitchen but handed her the correct cup. Richie found it hard to believe how well they knew each other.

“We rotate who gets coffee,” Stan said. “We all know each other’s orders by now.”

Ben yawned and took the cup Stan handed to him. Bill reached around Stan to take one out of the carrier. Stan took a sip from one of the two cups with a tea label hanging over the side. There was a book sitting next to Stan. He must always wake up earlier than people and been reading.

“Did Eddie do anything after you went outside?” Bev asked. She was trying to keep her voice casual but was failing.

“He tends to get somewhat,” Stan paused, deciding on a word, “frisky when he drinks.”

“Horny,” Bev corrected him.

Richie laughed. “No, nothing happened, but now I’m curious to know what he’s done.”

“My favorite was when he tried to proposition Bill and Stan with a three way,” Ben answered.

“Well I mean, who hasn’t?” Richie lifted his cup to Stan and winked.

“Who hasn’t what?” Eddie asked, taking the cup Bev slid to him.

The short time Richie had known Eddie, he knew Eddie wasn’t a morning person. Right now, his eyes were closed as he held the coffee cup close to his face. His usually perfect hair was disheveled, and he looked ready to punch someone.

“Who hasn’t enjoyed spending their time with me this weekend?”

Eddie rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else about it. They didn’t stay at Stan’s long after that. Richie and Eddie were the last two to leave. They’d left their bags there and were going to go back later. It was like Eddie was afraid to be alone with just Richie. He felt the same. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do. They were walking in silence towards town.

“So, are you just going to abandon me by one of these buildings or?” Eddie gave him a quizzical look. “Well I know you don’t want to do this.”

“I actually planned something, okay? I just, I’m nervous. What if it doesn’t work?” Richie didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. “What if it does? I mean I want you to get your memories back, but what if you,” Eddie trailed off.

“I’m not going to leave, if that’s what you think. I can’t tell you what I thought five years ago, but I know what I think now.”

Eddie nodded as if that was all he needed to hear. He led to way to the park without explaining what he was thinking. He sat down on the ground next to a bench gesturing for Richie to do the same. It was just starting to snow. Eddie pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his fanny pack. He twisted it around the leg of the bench and then attached it to their wrists.

“You have the key for these, right?” Eddie nodded. “Do you want to explain to me why I’m handcuffed to a bench?”

“I thought it might relate to your tattoo.” Eddie shrugged. “I saw it one day and since Bowers chained us here once, maybe it’d bring something back.”

Richie could tell Eddie was nervous. He refused to look at Richie, his eyes landing on the Paul Bunyan statue. Richie moved the handcuff, hoping it would bring something back, but it felt useless. Then again, everything he’d done prior to getting his memories back felt useless.

“Maybe if I punched you in the face it would help? Threw your glasses a few feet away? I could,” and suddenly it sounded like Eddie was talking underwater. A familiar wave of nausea washed over Richie. “Richie? Richie are you okay?” Richie pulled at the handcuffs trying to get away. “Wait Richie, calm down. I’ll unlock it, just stop, don’t–”

\- - -

Richie managed not to throw up when all his memories came back. It was like watching a recap of his life. It felt like hours had passed by the time he calmed down. Who knew how long it’d actually been. Eddie was passed out next to him, a layer of snow covering them. Exactly as it’d been when Bowers handcuffed them. Eddie had been right. Richie took the key out of Eddie’s pack and took the handcuffs off.

Now he was panicking. He knew why Eddie was so nervous about him getting his memories back. Because he thought Richie would realize he didn’t care about him. That he’d been serious when he said it wasn’t possible for one of the losers to be his soul mate. That if he was Richie’s soulmate, they wouldn’t end up together.

Richie picked Eddie up, not sure what to do. He couldn’t leave him here and wait. Bev house was the closest. It wasn’t until he knocked on the door that he realized he’d seen Eddie’s tattoo. The first night he’d stayed in his dorm. The handcuff tattoo. Suddenly it felt like the wind was knocked out of him. Eddie knew they were soulmates, that's why he'd shut Richie out. Richie wanted to be mad. He wanted to tell Eddie he'd been selfish. But maybe he thought he'd be easier if he didn't see Richie. Cut Richie out before he cut Eddie out. How could both of them be such idiots? 

Bev opened the door. She looked between Eddie and Richie, growing more confused and concerned. She stepped back so Richie could put Eddie on the couch. He stepped back running his hand through his hair before looking at Bev.

“I’m sorry, I think he hit his head. I didn’t know where to go. I can’t. I need to. I–” Richie didn’t finish his sentence.

He walked back out the door and without thinking started running to Stan’s house. He banged on the door, glad Stan’s parents were going to be home until the next morning. He continued to knock until someone answered. Bill looked more confused than Bev had. Richie lurched forward, giving him a bone crushing hug.

“Fuck I missed you Bill.” Richie dropped his arms and watched the realization dawn on Bill’s face. Stan was watching from the kitchen. “I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it.”


	20. Finding Richie

\- Eddie - 

“I’m an idiot!” Eddie groaned.

He’d just woken up on Bev’s couch and realized what must have happened. Richie got his memories back, realized that Eddie was too difficult to be soulmates with, and left him here. Bev sat down next to him after handing him a cup of tea.

“I’m glad you’ve finally realized that.”

Eddie set the tea down and jumped up. He began pacing. He was being ridiculous. He’d been acting that way for months. Why’d he have to get into his own head. He’d shut Richie out for no reason. He had panicked. He’d done the exact same thing he accused Richie of doing. Things got too hard for Eddie to handle and rather talk through it with Richie, he ran.

And why? Because Richie might hurt him. Richie wouldn’t have done that. Because he’d never really done that, right? So what if he said that he couldn’t see them being soulmates. Bill would have said that about Stan. Ben would have said that about Bev.

He’d had his heart broken by Don. He threw up walls that didn’t need to be there and thought it’d be easier to tell Richie to go to hell than it would have been to deal with the fact that he was still in love with him. All those years ago he wasn’t able to deal with his emotions for Richie and connected that with Don because he was an idiot.

Not only that, he was selfish. He was selfish to think that it didn’t matter what Richie thought or said. Because he wasn’t the same person he was when he was thirteen. He wasn’t going to forget the fact that he liked Eddie because five years ago he hadn’t. He’d told Eddie he loved him, and Eddie basically told him he didn’t care.

“I’ve blamed Richie for everything. Every shitty thing that’s happened. He’s one of the few good things in my life and I fucked it up. He’s never did anything wrong.”

“Yeah you’re both morons that don’t know how to talk about your feelings. That’s been abundantly clear.”

“He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Bev! I blamed him for getting hit by a car. Who does that?” Eddie yelled.

“Eddie, you lost someone important to you and didn’t know how to deal with it. Yeah you might have reacted in the most extreme way possible, but he doesn’t hate you.” Eddie started to protest. “No, listen to me. Eddie, he was literally drinking himself into a coma because you weren’t talking to you. He decided to stay in Derry because he thought he might get you to talk to him again.”

“Then how do I fix it? How do I apologize for being the world’s worst person? I told him to stop talking to me and then got mad at him for possibly moving on.” Eddie didn’t bother explaining Anthony. It didn’t really matter. It was just another reason he was an idiot. Eddie dropped back on the couch, his voice shaking. “I don’t deserve him, Bev.”

“No, you don’t. But he doesn’t deserve you either. Despite how you’ve been acting, you’re not a bad person, Eddie. Don’t tell yourself you are. You’re going to get through this.”

Eddie wanted to believe her, he did. How was he going to make it up to Richie though? How does anyone make up for what he did? He looked at his phone and he was supposed to be home in ten minutes. If he wasn’t there is mom was probably going to call the police or start a search party.

“I have to go. My mom’s going to lose it if I’m late. Can I call you later? Maybe you can help me figure out how to make it up to Richie. Or at least how to apologize?”

Bev looked at Eddie with pity. Nothing he’d done justified that. He deserved to be told off. All of his friends should be mad at him, tell him he deserved this. He rushed home, thinking of anything he could do. He managed to get home a few minutes late and convince his mom that everything was okay. When he got to his room, he sent Richie a text, hoping he’d be able to think of something to say later.

**Eddie**: _Can we talk? Please_

\- - -

No answer. It was almost midnight and there was still no answer. That was unsurprising. It was the least he deserved. He’d been staring at the ceiling for hours, just running through everything that had happened. Feeling guiltier and guiltier. Eddie almost fell off the bed when his phone went off. His hopes sank when he realized it wasn’t Richie.

**Unknown Number**: _I dont get why birds are so great? sure some can sleep with their eyes open and pigeons were used in the Olympics and some have contagious yawns. OK nvm birds are pretty cool but im not going to spend time watching them you know_

Eddie went to respond, but before he could another unknown number messaged him. Then another. Five unknown numbers kept texting him weird messages that made no sense and he couldn’t figure out which one to respond to before the next one came in.

**Unknown Number: ** _I bet if i was being chased by a murderer i could outrun them. You’d probs die because youre small and have asthma, but i'd kill a murderer for you._

**Unknown Number**: _snails can sleep for 3 yrs. i can’t even sleep for 3 hours _

**Unknown Number: ** _did you know americans eat an average of 18 ACRES of pizza a day? Can’t believe your mom can afford 18 acres of pizza. _

**Unknown Number**: _The tongue is the strongest muscle. Wanna test it out_

**Unknown Number**: _not to be dramatic but theres a spider on my wall and i might just set the room on fire_

**Unknown Number**: _my mom doesn’t get me, but she also doesnt get why the moon landing was fake so can we trust her_

**Unknown Number**: _FUCK I had math homework…Youre mom’s weight is like pi, it goes on and on and on_

**Unknown Number**:_ you’re my integral cuz I can see myself in the area beneath them curves…i dont know what an integral is. _

**Unknown Number**: _I watched a horror movie last night and cant sleep…it was your moms wedding video. _

**Unknown Number**: _what do you think space smells like? does it have a smell? they should make a space candle_

The texts continued to come until 11:59. There was a knock on the window and Eddie jumped in surprise. He looked up to see Richie holding a sign that read: _I lied. _

\- Richie - 

Richie was sitting at Stan’s kitchen table with Ben, Mike, Bill, and Stan. Richie had called them to talk about Eddie. He probably would have called Bev too if he knew Eddie wasn’t there. They’d been brainstorming ways Richie could talk to Eddie when he got a text.

**The Lovely Eddie Spaghetti**: Can we talk? Please

“This is good!” Mike said. “Say yes, maybe he wants to apologize!”

“Or maybe he wants to put an end to everything?” Stan said.

“Way to be helpful.” Bill hit his arm.

“Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves.”

Richie dropped his phone without responding. He rested his head on the table, trying to process everything. They didn’t have time to talk about the text because Stan’s front door was thrown open. Richie turned to see a beyond pissed off Bev.

“Tozier you better have a damn good reason for leaving an unconscious Eddie on my couch.” Richie stood up; hands held up defensively. “He left my house thinking you hated him and that he didn’t deserve to be loved. I swear to god. He’s messed up a lot of stuff, but you don’t get to abandoned him without saying why, he–”

“BEV!” Ben yelled.

Bev turned, realizing that everyone else was around the table. “Ben what are you doing here?”

“If you had asked what was going on, you wouldn’t have to chew Richie out. We’re trying to figure out how to talk to Eddie.” Ben said, gesturing for her to sit down.

“He’s trying to plan what he can say to you.”

“So, what you’re saying is we’re both idiots that just need to have an adult conversation?”

Nobody answered Richie. They didn’t need to. The answer was obvious. He glanced at his phone and noticed it was already ten. Then Richie remembered what Eddie had said at the rest stop. Every morning he’d waited for Richie’s first thought of the day.

Richie grabbed his phone. When he’d first lost his memory, he’d gone through his phone and took screenshots old conversations and saved all his photos online. He’d thought that if he got his memory back, he’d want to save them. He also thought he could reread the texts to see if they brought anything back. Even then Richie knew it was ridiculous. Which may be why he never ended up opening the files. Until now.

“I have an idea, but I’m going to need your help. Can each of you download one of those texting apps so Eddie doesn’t recognize your number? I’m going to give you a list of things to send him.”

Two hours later he was sitting outside Eddie’s window, holding a sign that said _I lied. _Eddie recovered from the shock of Richie standing there and rushed over. Richie could tell he was hesitant to open the window. He probably thought Richie was going to say he lied about being in love with him. That he didn’t want to see him ever again.

Richie climbed through the window but didn’t speak right away. He looked around the room and realized not much had changed. He couldn’t help but smile when he thought about all the times he climbed through Eddie’s window.

“We, um, you’ve got to be quiet, my mom’s downstairs,” Eddie whispered. Richie nodded. His next words came out rushed. “I’m sorry, okay. I know you have every reason to hate me. Honestly if you came over here to tell me to go to hell, I get it. I don’t deserve a second chance, but can you think about maybe giving me one? I’m so fucking sorry.”

Richie burst into a smile. “Of course, I can forgive you.”

“How?” Eddie asked. He looked like he surprised even himself by asking that.

Richie held up the I lied sign again. “Because I lied. I mean, I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what that meant. But I lied to you every day. All those first thoughts? They weren’t actually my first thought of the day. My first thought was how much I liked you.

“I would think of something I could say that would make you smile. Well, do that thing where you roll your eyes like you’re annoyed but you’re actually trying not to laugh. Because that’s one of my favorite things you do.

“So, I’d wake up and think what’s the dumbest thing that I can send that will make Eddie do that. Because I couldn’t tell you my real first thought. I couldn’t text you in the morning to say that I was in love with my best friend. That you not being my soulmate was the worst thing imaginable. That you dating Don was one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with.

“I lied. Everyday I told you my first thought, it was a lie. Obviously, I’d give you a second chance, we never even got a first chance. I say we both get a second chance. Mine will be to actually tell you my first thought every day, if you’ll let me.”

Eddie closed the distance between them. His fingers threaded through Richie’s hair as Richie’s hands landed on his hips pulling him closer. It was a lot different from the last time they’d kissed. Richie realized how much he’d lost after the accident and how he’d spend every second making up for lost time. Somehow, he knew Eddie was thinking the same thing. Eddie pulled pack, just enough to make eye contact.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” Richie answered. “How do you think your mom’s going to take it when I break up with her?”


	21. Four Years Later

\- Richie -

Richie was carrying a pizza towards the room Bev was in. He’d told her he was just running to the bathroom, but he’d snuck out to get something to eat. He knew she was going to thank him. Over the last few years they’d practically become inseparable. He knew exactly what was going to make this day better for her.

In their second year, the two of them and Eddie had moved into an apartment. Mike had stayed on campus as an RA and even had Stan on his floor. For their third and last year, Stan moved into their apartment and Mike moved in with Carole. He was in the building next to theirs.

He and Eddie had had their share of fights, but something they always did was talk it out. They’d promised not to do exactly what they’d always done. They wouldn’t just storm out and assume the worst. Four years later Richie knew more than ever that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Eddie.

“This is so stupid,” Bev yelled. Richie kicked open the door to see her facing the full-length mirror. “Where have you been? I can’t find–” Bev stopped when she turned around and saw the pizza box. “Oh, fuck my veil, who needs it.”

Bev lifted the skirt of her dress as she rushed to grab a slice. Stan stuck and arm out, pulling her back by her waist. She gave him the dirtiest look she could muster. Richie laughed as he looked around for a cloth or something. He grabbed his t shirt from earlier and tossed it to Stan. Bev pulled it on.

“Good call, I think Ben would kill me if I showed up with a sauce stain.” Bev hummed as she took a bite. “Richie, I love you. There is still time to run away if you’re down.”

Richie grabbed a piece of pizza, sitting on the table. “Sorry sweetheart I’m still waiting for Stanley to come around.”

“And he’ll die waiting.”

Richie picked a mushroom of his pizza and threw it at Stan. He dodged the vegetable in time and glared at Richie. It was luckier for Richie because Bev would probably be pissed for Ben if anyone had a stain on their clothes. There was a knock on the door and then Eddie entered without hearing an answer. He took one look at the pizza before sighing and closing the box.

“Really Richie?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Can I talk to you?”

“It’s just a pizza!”

Eddie respond as he grabbed the pizza box and walked out of the room. Richie rolled his eyes and smiled at Bev before following Eddie out of the room. The pizza box was sitting on the floor and Eddie grabbed Richie’s arm and pulled him close.

“What’s up Eds?”

“I actually had to say something to Bev and completely forgot when I saw you.”

Richie put his hands on either side of Eddie, leaning down so they were only a few inches away. “Why’s that?”

Eddie’s eyes raked up and down Richie before landing on Richie’s mouth. “You should wear suspenders more often.”

“Really? You like this look?”

“I’d like it better on the floor.”

Richie leaned back, hands dropping from the wall as he laughed. Ever since they started dating Eddie and him would use the most cliché pickup lines they could think of. Usually they did it when they were meeting the other one somewhere and people could hear. It didn’t matter when Eddie used one, though, because it always made Richie’s day.

“You should probably get back to Ben.”

“Probably,” Eddie answered, not moving.

“RICHIE!” Bev yelled.

Richie sighed. “I’ll see you tonight.” he started walking to the door before turning to wink at Eddie. “Babe.”

He didn’t need to look at Eddie to know he was shaking his head and smiling. Eddie always said he hated nicknames, but Richie knew he secretly liked them. Inside, Bev had taken off Richie’s shirt and Stan was helping her situate her veil.

“You can hook up with Eddie tonight, I’m about to walk down the aisle. Focus!”

“Five minutes ago, you were ready to run away with me.”

“Prewedding jitters,” Bev laughed, waving her hand. “I’d be an idiot not to marry Ben.”

Twenty minutes later, Richie was watching Bev walked down the aisle with her aunt, who was giving her away. Mike and Eddie stood by Ben. They’d asked Bill to officiate. It was a small wedding, but Bev kept saying she’d have been fine if it was just the seven of them. Ben was the happiest Richie had ever seen and Bev couldn’t have looked more beautiful.

Despite that, Richie couldn’t stop staring at Eddie. He also couldn’t stop imaging what it’d be like if it were the two of them getting married. Over the last few years he’d thought about marrying Eddie once and a while, but it wasn’t until that day he’d never really saw it being real.

\- - -

“Richieeeee,” Eddie yelled. “Come dance with me!”

Eddie and Bev were the only two dancing. Richie had started to help Ben put away chairs. They were going to have to leave in a few minutes. Luckily Stan had convinced the manager to let them stay in the venue for a little bit longer. It was just the Losers, what Bev had wanted all along.

Eddie wasn’t so much as dancing as he was trying not to fall over. Both him and Bev were drunk and exhausted. Richie sat with Stan and Ben watching Bev and Eddie, laughing. Mike pulled Bill to the dance floor and was trying to show him some new dance move.

“I’m going to marry him one day,” Riche said, not really talking to anyone in particular.

Ben laughed. “What a good way to start the day.”

Richie looked at his phone and realized it was only 12:01. He sighed, walking up to the dance floor. It was going to be hell getting Eddie to go to bed. Eddie grabbed Richie’s suspenders, pulling him closer. Richie smiled down at him. Every day he was surprised by how much he loved him.

“One more song.” Richie heard Bev plead and Ben sighed in response.

It was a slow song, the same song they’d danced to at the beginning of the night. Richie slipped his arms around Eddie, pulling him closer. Eddie rested his head against Richie’s chest. By the end of the song Eddie was barely able to stand up. Richie said goodnight to everyone and helped Eddie to their room. Eddie flopped on the bed, not bothering to take anything off.

“Richie can I tell you something?” Eddie’s eyes were closed. Richie doubted he’d remember this tomorrow. “Remember when we were at Stan’s before you got your memories back and you drank to know what question Bev asked me?”

“I thought I already guessed that,” Richie laughed, pulling off his shirt and pants before laying next to Eddie. “Something about me being sexy?”

“It was who had the prettiest eyes,” Eddie said, not bothering to answer Richie. Then he whispered, “I love you.”

Richie didn’t sleep that night. He stared at the ceiling for hours, thinking about his future. Eddie was curled up against him, an arm thrown across him. Richie looked down at him. He wished he couldn’t imagine a life without Eddie, but he could. He just knew he didn’t want to live like that ever again.

\- Eddie -

Eddie woke up with a massive hangover. He groaned, looking at the clock on the nightstand. _6:52. Why the hell was he awake? _Then he realized that the bed was empty. Richie was probably downstairs getting coffee and something to eat. Eddie heard his phone chime, stopping him from going back to sleep.

**Alessandro: ** _Meet me outside on the patio? _

Eddie didn’t text back. Half of him wanted to pretend he never saw the next and just go back to sleep. He knew that if Richie was texting him that early though it was probably important. Eddie realized Richie hadn’t told him his first thought of the day. No matter what they were going through, Richie had kept his promise and told him his honest first thought every day.

Eddie pulled on Richie’s sweatshirt and headed downstairs. There wasn’t anyone outside when he got there. He was going to kill Richie. This might be the rudest thing Richie had ever done. He was about to stomp inside when he heard someone clear their throat. He spun around to see Richie.

“Morning.” Richie looked nervous.

“Morning?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“I didn’t get out of bed for you not to.”

“You know how I promised to tell you my first thought of the day?” Eddie nodded. “Well, it’s always been how lucky I am. How happy I am that you’re in my life. How amazing you are. How much I love you. Except yesterday.”

Eddie froze. What did he do? He tried to remember anything that would have changed what Richie thought. Not that he expected Richie’s first thought to always be about him, but he expected him to lie. After four years, he didn’t expect this.

“Richie, I’m sor– ”

“Wait,” Richie interrupted. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t apologize. My first thought was honestly I’m going to marry you one day. You can ask Ben, I said it to him.” Eddie took a deep breath, not sure what to say. “I guess what I’m saying is, would you marry me one day?” Richie was down on one knee holding a pair of handcuffs.

“Of course, you idiot,” Eddie said, rushing forward to hug Richie. “How do you think your mom’s going to take it when I break up with her?”

Richie stood up and laughed before kissing Eddie. Despite what they’d gone through, they both knew they were going to be alright. No matter what the universe or some stupid tattoo said, they were soulmates.


End file.
